Insatiable Host

Twentytwelve

2012-01-02T00:15:00.000-05:00

i wish for you all to have a wonderful year.

i wish for you all to find one thing that makes you so happy; that you love doing or have always wanted to do...embrace it! take chances, fall in love...laugh out loud or stand up and scream. gamble on life, roll the dice its your year!!!

Sigh

2011-12-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

I want to grow up and be happy;

I want to feel young and walk proud.

I want to age and feel graceful;

Not to walk under this cloud.

I want to dance in your sunshine;

I want to walk in your smile.

I want to hold on to your heartbeat;

No to feel cast aside.

When moments turn to minutes;

And days turn to night.

I want to hold you close to me;

I don't care who's right.

*sigh*

Whisper your thoughts to me;

Tell me all of your fears.

Don't push me away from you;

You will drive me to tears.

Life passes by daily;

Slipping through our hands.

Grab each moment you're given;

Or alone is where you will stand.

*sigh*

2011-10-30T19:38:00.000-04:00

Its been a while since we've talked and I am not sure if you even want to still but I figured I would be the adult here for once and I would talk first.

I am slowly getting back to writing daily and its nice to say that I have had some inspiration as of late.

I had many hilarious things to talk about then I got started on a new mix for my ipod.

Its incredibly difficult to make a mix for any occasion but the one that I am considering will take me a few days. You know those mixes that let you sit back with your hands behind your head...they let your eyes close and sink into that void of contentment...

Its like when you're at a concert and the main act comes out for the first time...you hear the guitars humming while they are tuned. You hear the crowds anticipation building for those first few chords to make the experience take flight. Examples of best 1st songs at concerts:
* Welcome to the Jungle - GNR - literally that duh nuh nuh nuh nuh; duh nuh nuh nuh nuh.... sends chills down my spine.
* Intergalactic - Beastie Boys - no need for further explanation
* Still Dre - Dr. Dre & Eminem - again, not much of an explanation needed...

They set the tone for whats in store for you...they make the night completely memorable and usually are hard to top...

So this is my mission - I am on the quest for the perfect mix.

Elbow has been included in this mix as a friend sold me on them about a year ago and I can't get enough...so has timeless music like Lou Reed, Miles Davis and newer music like Duffy or Muse...There will be some Frampton and also Peter Gabriel...

Got any suggestions for me? Comment below... It's gotta be perfect!

(this is also the first post i have ever written without a swear word...make it count!)

Landslide

2011-09-11T23:26:00.000-04:00

well, i've been afraid of changin'

cuz, I've built my life around you.

but time makes you bolder;

children get older;

I'm gettin' older, too...

Sometimes after sitting here and reflecting on the days that have gone by, I am astounded by how my children have shaped my life. As sarcastic as I may be, each little breath they take grabs a hold of my heart-strings and pulls me that much closer to them.

Times, they are a changin that's for sure...and I can't wait for the next chapter...

There once was a Host from Nantucket....

2011-09-06T15:48:00.001-04:00

There once was a host from Nantucket;
Who had a blog and then said fuck it.

She felt rushed for time;

Didn't make a dime;

So she stopped writing for a while, so just suck it.

After a while the host became board;

She literally started to hoard;

Not a scary type binge;

But an array of such things;

That she purged her collection and gorged.

The Host wasn't some lame-ass mom;

Who didn't care about right from wrong;

She missed her blog tons;

But couldn't get off her buns;

For her posts to be witty and spot-on.

One day the Host became scary.

That bitch even let her legs grow hairy;

She had a stiff drink;

Her eyes they did blink

As she woke up to her blog-mother fairy.

Dear host, she did say;

why, you're gonna go grey;

Get up off your ass;

and write with spunk and some sass;

Now hurry up - don't stop along the way...

Dearest readers of the lost blog...this is the flagship entry I think of this year...maybe not that pathetic; but it's close. But, truth be told I needed a mental shut down. While life has taken hold of me by both tits, I feel like in some way I have grown, shrunk and have allowed myself to live again in the past x months.

I know you're likely questioning..did she go to re-hab, have plastic surgery...something....and the answer is no. I have lived.

*I went to New York with work and was able to experience the US Open for Tennis.
*I played with my kids, till my jeans wore thin and got dirty from the sand.
*I lost 14 lbs.

...did I mention I lost 14 lbs?

You're fuckin right I did...

dear USANA...thank you for the RESET kit. you have made my life enjoyable (because I can wear my sexy jeans now).

I have worked my buns off and still do but I also had almost 2 weeks off and have an entirely different approach to life right now...its insane what time can do.

Anyhow, I figured that as I had the time I would literally devote these past 5 minutes to each and everyone of you. I mean, how could I not...I hope you all are well and I am going to try to get my ass in gear again as I do have some incredibly funny things to share that had occurred in my life.

What's shakin' in yours?

Cloudy with a Chance of Insanity...

2011-04-20T20:55:00.000-04:00

It's that kinda day when you look at the clock and you swear to god it's been about 3 hours past; however it hasn't even been 5 minutes...

you know those days right?

well Guuuurl you betta listen here....

I know that my random spurts of sanity are something you all may be concerned about; but really you SHOULD be. Today I have done 2 things that I am still reeling about:

1. I argued with the sales rep at the lingerie store that it's "no wonder, why the wonder bra, leaves me wondering"....she insisted that I was just trying to distract her and when I told her, no "sorry I'm not into chicks" she just stopped and gave me that look...the one from the side where you think they are like "what the fuck did she say?"....

you may be asking why was I wondering about the wonder bra? that's another funny story and is also the 2nd thing that is making me reel.

2. I have been dealing with a lot of lady problems... everything from my tits leaking to my dear aunt flo staying for a month - after showing up unannounced. Ya, she's really a bitch. Anyhow, so with all of this nonsense I actually decided that seeing a professional (not mental professional) about what was making my body act so out of control. I had asked them if perhaps I had an alien spawn seed growing inside of me - they responded quite quickly with a "hell no". I asked it it were possible if my body was so used to be pregnant that perhaps although my tubes were tied that my uterus was taking control of her dementia and was trying to make me crazy. This they actually thought about, but haven't given me a license to practice medicine so I doubt it. They did however send me for a battery of tests, blood work, ultrasounds and MRI's I am still left waiting to find out what's wrong.

The dr's been really sensitive though. She asked me when the last "milking" I had was (NO JOKE) and then she asked me how much my breasts weigh.

The last time I put them on a scale...

Are you fucking kidding me? Well after my last milking they were really light, but as I carry 35% milk in my fun bags, today they are about 10 lbs.

Ok, enough joking as jokes about boobies aren't really fun, unless they're fake boobies. This case and point, mine are real. But when I told her I didn't know how much my girls weighed she took out a drug scale and told me to unload.

This scale looked like it was hi-jacked from Tony Montana's desk....not that it was covered with a white powdery film but that I swear you would think that with the advances in the medical field - especially surrounding breasts that there would be a super cool scale for them.

Not the case.

Anyhow, so after I found out that I have 9.3 lbs of these bad boys on my chest, I started looking into proper support. Emotional of course but also from a bra. I wanted to know about what I could do to help me from falling out of their daily holsters. I have been feeling so trapped with the wardrobe I can wear as constantly they are a concern.

I can't wear button up shirts or they pop out
I can't wear low cut tops as they will be on display
I can't wear a t-shirt as they always look like they are stuffed up to my chin...

I thought that I had been taken care of the last time I went for a fitting (the last time the girls grew) but I am now facing another growth spurt and I am needing some more help. I finally found 2 great options that don't resemble something crossed between a sports bra or something that my grandmother may have wore. I feel comfortable but I am seriously missing the $60 per bra that I paid. Really. this is how entertaining life is with me. Don't you wish you were one of the voices in my head?

I am sure that there are bound to be several follow-up appointments that you will be able to laugh through and I am also certain that I might be losing my mind. With any roadblocks or speed-bumps we face in life, there has got to be some laughter, and I hope that I am able to laugh my way through whatever the heck is happening- I figure as long as I have you guys to ~~laugh at me~~.. er laugh with me.

Bitter Sweet Misery

2011-04-18T22:20:00.000-04:00

I am feeling as if there is no way to win.

Right now, I am trying to balance being a full time mother; part time father and full time employee. Mr. Insatiable is working 6 days a week and is sleeping for the 7th....it's been totally draining and exhausting!!! I honestly don't know how he's doing it...

I have had many moments of insanity since my last post and many moments where if anyone else was telling this story I am sure that I would turn into the next viral sensation....not quite as great as Rebecca Black but almost as funny as those two twins talking.

There have been moments where I literally locked myself into the washroom just to have a 5 minute break from the "mommy" list. While I am sitting here, I am trying to figure out how to apologize to Mr. Insatiable for yelling at him to get the fucking kitty litter all because I had to make friggen waffles at 8pm! Really?!?! This is the insanity that is my life.

I have been doing well in other aspects of my life. Weigh in no. 2 and I am down a total of 5.3 lbs in 2 weeks since starting the Biggest Loser on the Wii....so I guess that's the silver lining. All this stressing out and frustration I am feeling is turning into the biggest calorie burner.... yay me..know rather than being the strung-out mother with a coffee; I'll be the skinny mother who's still crazy. C'est la vie!

What about you?! I rarely hear from you all and honestly I haven't been able to read my favourite blogs for a ridiculously long time! Soon enough I'll have my grip on reality enough to be able to balance the act of 'da momma-hood; wife and temptress for Mr. Insatiable...but until then, just know, I miss you all!!!

Peace out!!!

SPAM Karma....it's a bitch!

2011-02-28T22:06:00.000-05:00

Dearest Readers who are still here, ~~and haven't given up on my like the 4 former readers did.~~

Today's subject is something that I feel strongly about...ney, ADAMANTLY about... FUCKING SPAMMERS!!!! I really don't care about Mr. Sommadublahhaha from Usbeckistan who tells me that I have important business to attend to. I could give a fucking shit about Madame Ella Mastromeolahon who tells me that we are dear long lost friends. I don't need friends with strings attached! I get that on a monthly basis when I have to deal with Aunt Flo...

Spammers are people that have too much time on their hands who also have stolen my email address to tell me these things that I don't care about. You may be asking, who the hell I think I am as I am now blabbing in a public forum; however, you chose to come to this page, I don't just give it to you.

Today I felt amazing as I had 4 comments on my pantypyramid blog. This blog has has no pulse for about 5 months....it is something that I had kept near and dear to my heart until several people who signed up for the fun didn't follow through...anyhow, so I had 4 comments, maybe from people who wanted to join; maybe from people who had decided to follow through...something...

no

These four comments were annoying bullshit details that weren't even full sentences.

"These occasions will also call for the hottest party dresses around... Panty lines and bra straps take away from what you have and gotta get fun! pantie panties" (the pantie panties was hyperlinked, but as I am not sure who this annoying person is, I removed it).

Really though, why would you!?

How could you?

It makes me almost want to go to their site and leave comments like "boogers got you down?" or "llamas make great pets" but I refrain. I hold myself back from doing that because that is completely rude. People enable comments for feedback, criticism, support and a means of traffic and readership of our blogs and not for that of annoyance.

Anyhow, to you spammers out there...please stop - if you don't something bad will happen to you - call it karma.

And let me tell you - Karma's a BITCH!

Holy Bat-Shit-Crazy Kids

2011-02-27T21:00:00.001-05:00

I have kids; you likely have kids... people have kids.

Yesterday was an adventure from hell I tell ya.

It's such a blast when they all start to not listen while we are in a home furnishing store. I can't tell you how much love there is in my voice after telling them to stop climbing on the furniture that is displayed - or that when I told my son "no you can't have jelly beans that cost $12 for the package"...he turned into a friggen psycho. I literally almost turned into a fucking turtle and sunk into my shell. AND to top it off, the little bitch-face cashier just looked at me and rolled her eyes!

Well... we all know that I am not one to fuck with, especially when the critters are making it hard to win the battle. I happened to ask her if this was amusing -- she just looked at me with the dumbest expression on her face. When this happened, I politely grit my teeth together and told her that if she didn't hurry the fuck up that I would climb over the counter and switch places with her. I also told her I would pay her $50 bucks to take that friggen look off her face and do her job rather than judging a mother who is going through a mega meltdown. She didn't understand, and again rolled her friggen eyes. To her manager, I feel awful for the letter that I have written my rant to, as I feel that after I am done, that poor girl may not have a job to pay for her fake nails and cell phone bill.

Lucas though she was rolling her eyes at him and started to wail even more. In my head I was a volcano erupting. I heard my heart beat in my ears and felt that little twitch in my neck start. She had that dumb look on her face too where her mouth just gaped open and she flung her hair to the side, and then Lucas said "stop rolling your eyes at me lady, it's really rude and you're hurting my feelings". Well that was it. I may have lost it again...on her.

Yes he was freaking out.

Yes he wasn't listening to me

Yes we were in public and I was beyond humiliated...

BUT He is 3! This is what happens... She totally made him feel horrible and didn't let her get away with it.

I am glad that he said something; although maybe the fact that I was going through the trauma of him freaking out and my wanting to clobber the girl with the new lamp I bought, I wasn't sure what side of my internal war was going to win.

I looked down at my little man, and he looked up at me, with tears in his eyes and said "momma, I'm sorry for being such a bad boy..and I love you so much momma"..well that ended the twitching.... I turned to her, and she was trying to take my payment. I asked her if she could please start bagging up my lamps and painting, and also was asking if there could be a carry out for me as I have 3 kids with me...

no answer

HELLO

no answer, she was busy talking to another girl...something about her plans for later.

Excuse me miss. When you're finished with planning your night out could you please let me know so I can get out of this store...I am not sure if you realize that this isn't ideal for me either and the noise from my son is making my head spin around.

I couldn't believe it!!! That'll teach me, I'll never bring the kids out again to a store that is supposed to make me feel happy!

Waaaay the hell outta left field

2011-02-26T22:58:00.000-05:00

I figure that after a 2 month sabbatical from writing I better kick my tits off the ground and get back on the horse. Where have I been?

Well there could be amazing stories about insanity of mother-hood; living my life on a day-to-day basis; but they would likely be illusions of grander for you all... truthfully my life as of late has been pretty repetitious. I haven't done much of anything really...but it's been pretty great!

I have managed to get myself into some shit though...yes, your favorite non-blogging blogger has been up to some shit!!! So as I do enjoy a great story telling I wanted to make it into a game for all of us. Let's do a multiple choicey thing-a-majig.

Last Sunday...I
a) went to church
b) had my sister and fiancee over for brunch
c) had my sister and fiancee over for brunch, got tipsy on mimosas and then went out for dinner with the hubby and friends
d) went out for dinner with the kids

By occupation, I am a dining specialist. I make reservations at the worlds top restaurants, and "should" be good at this...If I had gone out for dinner with friends, what time would the reservation have been made at?
a) 6:30 pm
b) 7:00 pm
c) 8:00 pm
d) 5:30 pm

If all statements thus far are true, and I were good at my job....what time would it be unforgivably rude if we showed up to a reservation?
a) 7:00 pm
b) 8:00 pm
c) 9:00 pm
d) no showed

If we were late for any reservation what would have been the likely reason?
a) lost a child at the grocery store
b) went to friends house, had a cocktail or four
c) went to friends house, called the restaurant to push the reservation to a later time, had a cocktail and went to the restaurant. On the way perhaps the driver was speeding to pass two transport trucks and happened to have gotten pulled over. If this had happened, and the driver didn't have his license with him; the police officer may have thought that the car was stolen as we couldn't find the ownership and insurance (oh, and by the way, the car we were driving may or may not have been his mother's) oh and then the police officer thought the car was stolen.
d) I had to go pee while driving to the restaurant and we stopped at the side of the hi way, where I was blown over by the gust of wind

If any of these statements were true, would there have been additional circumstances that this story was even remotely possible?
a) yes
b) no

If there were other reasons was it because I
a) ate hash brownies
b) smoked a fatty
c) was wasted off of one drink and smoked something funny
d) all of the above

If there were some altering substances and perhaps I was a tad intoxicated, did we even make it to the restaurant?
a) yes
b) no

Ok, so yes, many layers of amazingness in my life. Mr. Insatiable felt horrible for not having his license with him, and our friends that were with us, have actually talked to us since it all happened but you know, we did come out on top after all of that. He only received a ticket for failure to produce the insurance and ownership... it definitely could have been worse.

Did you pass the quiz?

Tell me though, what have you been up to??

The Last Supper

2011-01-03T00:27:00.000-05:00

I didn't know how to start this post as I have had a bit of wine but I ate my last supper today ladies!!!

Some of you may not know but it was my 31st birthday yesterday and this is my year of life changes. Tonight I ate my last supper of not watching what I am eating...not making the right choices or not taking care of myself. It actually was pretty darn good.

"What did you eat?" you may be thinking...well, I had some olive bread with balsamic and olive oil; roasted garlic with brie; a great salad (lemon/oil/balsamic dressing) and a wicked Capelinni pasta with Shrimp, Crab and Portabello Mushrooms...it was amazing.

I also went shopping with my sister today as I was given some money for my birthday from my dad... we went into a couple stores first and it was a great time...the only thing that wasn't great is that I have a phobia of shopping. I get all nervous, my eyes get out of whack like I am dizzy or something and I get nervous sweat. I have no idea why but it happens. This time was ok - there were a few things I was drawn to but she steered me in the right direction and I actually liked what I got! I got this great beige jacket/blazer, a crochet light blue tank top and a really nice cobalt blue shirt and this great sleeveless sweater with a cowell neck. The thing was that the process leading up to my purchases resulted in my admitting to myself that I had gained a solid 20 lbs back since my surgery back last year and that I had another 20 lbs sitting on my ass full of feelings... I had literally gained the weight of my daughter! This made me completely sick! I looked at my arms and wanted to instantly run back into the room. It's funny when you look at yourself some days you don't see any thing you love - but today I just saw how much of me there was to love.

I can't wait though as I have a goal and a date to work towards. Now, I am sitting at 187lbs and I am 5"5'. I have a pear shaped body.... my tits are huge and my hips are huge...my waist isn't that huge though; however, the fact that my torso is short and my jugs are so friggen large it looks like I don't have a mid section...that's a new topic though. Look in the future for "breast reduction" as this is something that I am considering....

Anyhow...the goal is my sister's wedding!!! The date is set for Saturday October 6, 2012 and that will give me ample time to work on this goal and time to learn how to maintain it. I am really looking forward to it though as I know that when I loose this weight, I'll feel more like me again!!!

I have got my breakfast/lunch all ready for tomorrow. I made a great wrap of veggies and turkey on weight watchers wraps, tomato and avocado mixed with mustard (1 slice of avocado about 2 cm thick with a squirt of Dijon mustard). I have an activia vanilla yogurt with 130 MLs of muslix; a banana; water; almonds and raisins. I think this will make a good balanced day and I wont be wanting to bite my arm off afterwards... Until the next time I get to talk with you all, I hope that your new year is full of love and happiness.

2011

2010-12-31T21:11:00.000-05:00

I have been reading every one's New Years Resolutions on facebook and twitter and I have heard it all before. I am also that person who used to make a resolution and keep it for a week to then go a head and go on an emotional eating binge. Whatever, now that I am dawning my 31st birthday, I can tell you in my wise voice that this year will be different.

Each day I want to live with full passion for life. MY life. Everything that encompasses it also - Family, Friends and me - just the way I am.

I will not allow people to walk all over me nor will I allow them to use me for convenience. I will call a spade a spade and a friend a friend -- WHEN IT'S TRUE.

I will drink whenever the fuck I want - and if I want to have a ~~bottle~~ er...glass of wine a night --- GUESS WHAT - I will - but I wont feel guilty about it afterwards.

I am going to shed 40 lbs this year - not just in total but I will start at 1 and allow it to go from there... This 40 pounds isn't just weight from the kids - it's 10 pounds of feelings that I have wanted and needed to shed for a long time. It's 10 pounds of sheer laziness with a pinch of you making me feel aweful about myself or someone's thinking I am not good enough... I can't believe I have let myself drown in this feeling for so long. There's got to be a few pounds, so let's call it 5 - of fried foods. 5 for pizza; 5 for baked goodies and 5 for cream and sugar in my coffee.

Once this is done, I will not abuse myself mentally any longer. I would rather slap myself in the face rather than beat myself up for something that I have no control over....

2011 is going to be a life changer folks and you are all gonna witness it! I can't wait!!!! I will write again and more - I will have better thoughts too because once you turn 31 you are instantly a fucking genius. You also turn 30% hotter. TRUE FUN FACT: once a women enters her 30's she instantly increases her stats impressively. Her sex drive revs to a 200 mph; her skin starts to even out and she feels sexy in her own skin. But...when she turns 31 -- man oh man, it's gonna be outstanding. Keep your eyes and ears peeled my friends.

This year is going to be EPIC.

It's all business in the front and party in the back

2010-12-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

...it's been a while my friends...

today I am interrupting my 30 Day Photo Challenge to bring some fuckin sass and a bit of attitude. I'm gonna work this rant like Tyra works her forehead. IM GONNA BE FIERCE.

There have been so many things I wanted to write but literally hadn't found the time nor muster up the balls it takes to really rock out a post...lame I know..whatever, I'll accept the FAIL I just received but you know what fucker? I am gonna tell you something, I have been blogging for over a year ya know..that means I am somebody!!!

Ok, well ... no it doesn't mean I am somebody, just ask my 100th former-follower who decided to drop me instead of their dependency on reality TV. Whatever, who needs ya!

(Narrator reads over this melodrama) Inside I was dying. I couldn't believe that I have let myself and my blog go for so long that people, those dedicated readers who make me laugh and feel loved with their words, have started dropping like flies. 2 in one week. The last time that this happened I lost 8 of them... I got through it right?! RIGHT!

Anyhow, so now that I have a more selected audience that'll teach em, I have to say that I have had a few nights out on the town, a great holiday with family and the 3 friends that I currently have and am gearing up for another increase of my age.

Saturday I turn 31. I was talking with a friend from work who just turned 31 on Friday and she had the best idea...tell people I'm 40, so that way in 9 years I am really great at it and feel confident enough to rock it. Not only this, but how many people will be like.."you're 40, you look amazing!" Ya, that's right! Well she was the bomb for this thinking and I am going to now adhere to the same strategy.

Two weeks ago, I saw Chelsea Handler. Who knew that she was banging 50?! oh, sorry, Fiddy. I sure as shit didn't but I do know that i haven't laughed so hard as I did that night. If it weren't for her talking about how her friend of the "homosexual" variety goes to bleach his asshole (SOMETHING THAT I AM SERIOUSLY CONFUSED OVER). As she isn't a "follower" and rather prefers herself a "trendsetter" she tells us how she used a Crest White Strip to do the job! We heard about how she hates balls and how much she loved to play with her Coslopus. Seriously who knew that I had enough patience to listen to a valley girl?! Cuz that was the biggest shock to me!

If you get the chance, I suggest reading all of her books; watch her TV show and then stalk her on twitter. She's hella-funny and that's my bit on Chelsea Handler.

Christmas came faster than the 3 minute quickie that Mr. Insatiable and I had the other night. It was full of laughter, my kids getting spoiled and a whirlwind of visiting family, lack of alcohol for some reason and ended with a new addiction to my Wii. I am a Wii-whore. These mario brother's don't know what they have inherited now that I am on their side. Fuck I wish I had an animated self... I think that sadly I would look like Toad and King Coopa had a daughter though.

Anyhow, I am really glad that I got this post out also because I have a big year ahead of me. I am taking my health head on and am making life changes! I am going to have even more fun than I had this year and I am taking all of you bitches with me! If you can't handle it, then jump ship now - cuz it's gonna be a great one!!!

On a serious note though, I sincerely wish you all have an amazing New Year! I wish to you all success, wealth and health.

Keep it real mo'fo's!!

Day 10 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-12-22T21:39:00.000-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

This will be a difficult feat. My most treasured item- how does one take a picture of that? I have pride and integrity... what caption could I ever use to summarize that?

I mean I don't have an image of me dressed as a superhero...

or do I?

<--- that's me...with the red boots

Pride and Integrity -

I have learned lessons in life that shouldn't have to be learned but I have survived.

I have experienced life and it's true pain but I have survived.

No matter what, I wouldn't change a thing because I wouldn't be who I am today.

Captain Awesome

Day 9 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-12-13T14:25:00.001-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

This one was really difficult. I have gone through a lot of nonsense in my life...really a boatload. I know that surviving it all is inner strength - and that would be myself who has gotten me through. The truth is, I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my husband.

He makes me smile, crazy, cry and laugh. He holds my hand and dries my tears. He lifts me up when I am down and makes me giggle when I am so angry that I can't help but break down. My husband is my best friend, my confident and even though I know that I drive him bat-shit crazy on most days I know that there isn't a moment in any given day that he wouldn't be there for me.

I love you Mr. Insatiable.

Day 8 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-12-12T14:12:00.001-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

My wedding still is my favourite day of my life. I loved every second of it and wouldn't change a thing. The day was perfect and I even had a bit of a surprise...when I arrived at the venue, I was greeted by all of these motorcycles....they were all reving their motors for me...it was awesome (and I am not even a biker).

My husband was dashing, the bridesmaids amazing and the groomsmen were dapper.

My favourite night!!!!

Day 7 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-12-11T14:12:00.000-05:00

***sorry for not being able to keep up with the memento folks, the computer went batshit crazy!!!*** Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

Here you have it. This picture really sums up my favourite people in the world (aside from my kids). I can't live without each one of these fuckers!

Seistor, Mr. Insatiable, Ma' Niece and I...

This picture was supposed to be titled "Blue Steel" for the look that I apparently have mastered - but the rest of them are pretty wasted, so maybe that's where it got lost in translation.

Niece looks like a fishy-face, Mr. Insatiable looks mafioso, Siestor just looks funny *but really she was saying "enough already take the fucking picture"...tres humorous!!

Day 6 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-11-29T15:44:00.000-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

This face makes me crack up!!! I remember this clear as day..and it was 3 years ago...Bella was showing me how bees sting people... I love her animation!!!

Day 5 - 30 DayPhoto Challenge

2010-11-26T20:04:00.000-05:00

day five - A picture of something you love
day six - A picture that makes you laugh
day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with
day eight - A picture of your favourite night
day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
day ten - A picture of your most treasured item
day eleven - A picture of something you hate
day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory
day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist
day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die
day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you
day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity
day nineteen - A picture and a letter
day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget
day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at
day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book
day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change
day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day
day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you
day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member
day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of
day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile
day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

Day 4 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-11-26T19:46:00.000-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again
day five - A picture of something you love
day six - A picture that makes you laugh
day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with
day eight - A picture of your favourite night
day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
day ten - A picture of your most treasured item
day eleven - A picture of something you hate
day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory
day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist
day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die
day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you
day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity
day nineteen - A picture and a letter
day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget
day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at
day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book
day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change
day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day
day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you
day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member
day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of
day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile
day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

Day 3 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-11-24T19:33:00.000-05:00

...here it is... Day 3....are ya ready?

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts
day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show
day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again
day five - A picture of something you love
day six - A picture that makes you laugh
day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with
day eight - A picture of your favourite night
day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most
day ten - A picture of your most treasured item
day eleven - A picture of something you hate
day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory
day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist
day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without
day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die
day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you
day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently
day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity
day nineteen - A picture and a letter
day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget
day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at
day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book
day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change
day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day
day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you
day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member
day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of
day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile
day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

I know many of you love this show for the great music, or for the hilarious comments from Sue Sylvester. There have been many shows that I have loved...I mean 90210 (original cast)???!! HELLO!!! The Bugs Bunny & Tweety Show...YES! I loved Mamma's Family, Nell, 227, 30 Rock, AMNTM, Grey's Anatomy and so many more.....but this show for some reason or a million sticks with me.

High school was a really difficult time for me...I don't need to tell any of you - I know it was the worst of many people's years...torment, bullying in some way or another, heart ache and jealousy. Girls being the best of friends with you and in an instant, your roommate is sleeping with your ex. It's where you find your first love and then have that thrown in your face...where you make friends with some of the most amazing people - and some of the most insane people you will likely know...

Because I wore many hats in high school, I think this show is my favorite because I see myself in every character...

Puck - aside from totally wanting to jump his bones and dry hump him for hours like when I was a teenage girl...I also had my moments of rebellion and rule breaking.

Kurt - well...I like boys. Aside from that, I also felt so alienated for being either the new girl at school or for being different.

Rachel - I was fairly intelligent...I also had the "goodie too shoes" image for a while..which got trashed when I started to be similar to Puck.

Finn - well, I was never the captain of any team nor did I worship a grilled cheesus sandwich - but I know that when push came to shove, I would stand up for a friend or give them whatever I could to help.

Mercedes - with being alienated or made fun of for whatever reason or another - I also had a body image problem in grade 10 that was really hard to get through....I wasn't sure what to think about the boobs that exploded and the ass that popped out like a bag of microwave popcorn... I just didn't know how or what to think of myself...

As for Shuster and Sue ...well I have done stupid things, said stupid things, been in the wrong place at the wrong time...I have lost great things in my life and tried to been vindictive....

As for the rest of the cast...I have been the one pointed at, different, scared, challenged. I am a girl - with nothing else, I am a girl with feelings, and I am human....

I love this show because no matter who you are, what you are, who you love it doesn't matter...the message is strong...

...cus you're the greatest...just the way you are!...

Day 2 - 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-11-23T21:33:00.000-05:00

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

Seistors, Best Friends

She is the one who does not me;

or make me feelthan myself.

She is the one who knows that I am thinking;

by just looking in my eyes - she can sense I'm twitching.

She is my best friend, myand confidant;

She'll tell me the no matter if it's this I want...(or ask for)

There isn't anything we can't talk of;

No subject too taboo - or that is off colour.

She makes my smile come through

even theof days, it's true....

My sister is my best friend; the truest of bonds.

Without her I'm not whole, notclose to being me.

We're there to hold each others hands, we'll stand beside each other

and will be our own biggest fans.

We will always up for each other's fashion fails,

and will (or steal the other's) fashion wins.

I love her with my and will

be there for her when she needs it

but I don't have to tell you all this, or even write it because she knows

no matter what, I will always be there.

SIS...I love you!

Day 1- 30 Day Photo Challenge

2010-11-23T09:00:00.001-05:00

So we all know that I need another challenge going on like I need another hole in my bottle of whiskey but hey...why not give yourself a goal right??? It's all about trying things out; testing the water if you will...

The 30 Day Photo Challenge is something that you all (well..you all who know me) will hate me for doing because I am asking you to do this also; I mean why not??!!! We're counting down the last 39 days of 2010 so I figure it's about time to start making these memories... here's how it goes... each day I will be posting of the following.

day one - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts

day two - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

day three - A picture of the cast from your favorite show

day four- A picture of something you'd like to do again

day five - A picture of something you love

day six - A picture that makes you laugh

day seven - A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

day eight - A picture of your favourite night

day nine - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

day ten - A picture of your most treasured item

day eleven - A picture of something you hate

day twelve - A picture of your favorite memory

day thirteen - A picture of your favorite band or artist

day fourteen- A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without

day fifteen - A picture of something you want to do before you die

day sixteen - A picture of someone who inspires you

day seventeen - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

day eighteen - A picture of your biggest insecurity

day nineteen - A picture and a letter

day twenty - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

day twenty one - A picture of something you wish you could forget

day twenty two - A picture of something you wish you were better at

day twenty three - A picture of your favorite book

day twenty four - A picture of something you wish you could change

day twenty five - A picture of your favourite day

day twenty six - A picture of something that means a lot to you

day twenty seven - A picture of yourself and a family member

day twenty eight - A picture of something you're afraid of

day twenty nine- A picture that can always make you smile

day thirty - A picture of someone you miss

.
BRING ON DAY 1: a picture of myself with 15 facts

fact * factoids * tidbits * welcomed information * details * evidence * the nitty gritty *

1. I love to smoke cigarettes. I am not classified as a full-time full blown smoker as I don't buy them nor do I smoke daily or even weekly..but I do love to smoke when I drink - which may lead me to smoke a few days in a row -- but then there are months that I go without smoking. My favourite brand was/is Players Smooth Regular; however, I also love Belmont Milds or Cloves for all you American friends....

2. My left thumb is smaller than my right thumb by a considerable difference. This isn't a Seinfeld-type noticeable man-hand thing or anything BUT - when I was 3 years old, we lived in this old apartment building. As a family (egg doner, sperm doner, elder sister and myself) we were coming home from being out somewhere and we came in through the garage. You know how heavy those fire-proof doors are right??? Well, I was walking through it and somehow, my thumb got caught in the door and it slammed shut. When my parents were able to get the door opened, my poor thumb was hanging there by a thread and it was the grossest sight ever (so the egg doner tells me) and really I would really sense that from this tale. Anyhow, the sperm doner picked me up and rushed me to the hospital (without telling anyone where he was going or anything -- another story for another day)...where I received several stitches....and a banana Popsicle. I will never forget that Popsicle...hmm. yum.

3. I dye my hair a lot- and have done so over the past years...I don't know why really... I don't have 1 grey hair on my body - and my husband actually thinks I do!!! He thinks that that is why I dye my hair all the time. Truth be told, I just feel super bland and dull if I don't get a semi-makeover every 6 weeks or so.

4. I was supposed to be a boy born on Christmas day named Wesley. NO JOKE!!! This isn't some tale of cross genderism or anything...but when my parents got an ultrasound done, they told them I was gonna be a boy. I don't have a twig or berries luvs...but I appreciate them for sure!

5. I hate cheesy Christmas decorations! I can't lie about this ...and it's a serious problem. I believe that Christmas Trees should be classic and beautiful not full of popcorn, tinsel and other things that guk it up. Yes, sadly this includes the paper ring chains, decorations that the kids made and other things that don't match or follow in my colour scheme. The truth of it all is that I never tell my kids that I don't like it, and every decoration they make goes on the tree with as much pride as my decorations that I have collected over the years - but really inside my heart is breaking like a glass bulb in shards of about a million pieces....This year I am able to say that I get my own tree as our house is big enough to support them!!!

6. I have never kissed a girl. I am not Katy Perry like - or like anyone else that has. It's not something that I wish to do or have ever thought about..nothing personal ladies, I just haven't. I have cherry chap stick though, so maybe one day.

7. Literally just read a magazine heading that says Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson got married?? WHAT THE FRIG?!

8. I have an obsession with the colour purple and feel that if it's not my colour it will be.

9. My dinner consisted of 12 almonds, 1 chicken wing and 1/2 bottle of water -- this isn't something I am proud of but I am sitting here thinking about food and am not even hungry...did the water fill me or is 12 almonds all it takes???

10. I have to have an ultrasound of my breasts next week. I have no idea how or what to make of this, but it's a fact that I have to go. I am nervous, anxious and unsure of what to think but I am going in optimistically!!!

11. I have had some incredibly embarrassing things happen to me at the worst of times...I feel that this is due to the fact that I started the 80's and that I can't be "THAT" friggen cool --- a good dose of humility lasts a long time right?? From dumping boiling hot tea on a friend when giving a hug to sliding under my van in mid winter on a date I can tell you that I have endured a lot...I hope it's over!!

12. I secretly wish that I lived in NYC. I would live in Chelsea or the West Village. I think that I would be a great New Yorker...really hip and trendy like. I would have a 5 bedroom brownstone or even a good loft space where the design was super cool. I would also have a cat named Obbob and a dog names Tavern.

14. Has a new tattoo sure ma pied.

15. Really is feeling better about my eating, health, emotional imbalances and over sensitive hormones since starting to write again!!! Thanks for being there ya bunch of biatches!

Home is where my Heart Is

2010-11-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

So I have been writing again!!! Thank CHRIST!!!! But since I have started up again, one thing has really remained so true.

Home is where my heart is...

Today was one of the best days we have had as a family in a long time - so I wanted to share them with you all...if you're my friend on the FB you may have seen these...but I don't care -- here they are again!!

If you don't take the time to get out and enjoy your family - how the funk are they supposed to enjoy you? Maybe part of being a happy mom and part of an amazballs-to-the-wall family is really being THAT happy-go-lucky-balls-to-the-wall type person??!!! I think so.

Anyhow, enjoy my family day - I know I did!!!!

Rudolph Kisses with my little man

Mr. and Mrs. Insatiable

Moi

Mommy and Bella

I don't know what I love more...the Shrek ears or her face!!

The man of my dreams and my frist dream ever answered...perfection

xoxoxox

I want to be a MILF

2010-11-20T20:36:00.002-05:00

Who wouldn't!?!?!

I am back on "get the frig back in shape" kick. This momma's needs to get her groove back soon and I don't think that Stella can help!

Contrary to Mr. Insatiable's belief, I have been eating reasonably well - but I also haven't worked out at all in forever. I swear he thinks that I sit and eat pizza every day, bon bons at night and never enjoy fruits and veggies etc. What he doesn't know is that I rarely eat that stuff...even if I order if for the kids, a ginormous salad full of proteins, and veg is not far from my reach!!

I will say that I started to do a yoga video the other day and went through this mental break-down of why I was doing what I was doing when I knew full well, that afterwards I would likely just slump on the couch and enjoy a piece of chocolate cake. This was also during post PMS week so I am allowed that...right? Pre-PMS week is full of hormonal imbalances, raging hormones and the slight psychotic murmurs of me the bat-crazy momma who needs a coffee stat! Pre-PMS week doesn't involve a huge intake of shitty foods- this is the week where I need to eat a ton of fruits, veggies and other good things....I also know that drinking water is one thing to help ease off the bitching cramps, so I do that also...the week of PMS is when things fall to shyte. This will later be examined but let's just say that its' been bad.

Why can't my motivation stick with me?!

Anyhow, I was catching up on some of my favourite blogs and see that everyone else has also been going through their own lapse in motivation for whatever reason. It really sat well with me though, the fact that I need to start doing something again...

Sadly, it's even taken away my "drive" to be a better me.

My 30 year old self will soon shed skin and emerge a 31 year old so the goal is to be a MILF!!!

I am taking Sarah's advice (Running with Scissors) and gonna be AWESOME - and I'll add a dash of my own knowledge that eating right and working out a bit will really help. I'm open to hearing what you peeps do when your motivation is nil and all you want to do is curl up on the couch or in bed and sleep away your November.

Anyhow, 2 posts, in 2 days is also a start....right?

Life Standing Still

2010-11-19T19:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since my last update with you all...I know; sad. pathetic and a little shameful but hell...you likely wouldn't have wanted to hear what I had to say as I wasn't really positive or motivating...

Things have been going well though....The psychos are getting big; school is going well...and it's almost Christmas...GOD where did this year go though?

I am really getting excited for Christmas...it's the only time of the year when people don't look at you crazy for having rum in your egg nog..~~at the grocery store~~; bailey's in your coffee ~~mug at church~~ or when you aren't ridiculed about wearing those amazing sweaters your grandma made you ~~with the fucking ugliest penguins wearing Santa hats ever~~ that ~~make you drink at church~~ you only wear when you see her ~~unless you have been drinking too much and accidentally go to work with it on~~

I also love the fact that I have started shopping for the kids and Mr. Insatiable. We are musing over the idea of a Wii for them. I like the idea as it's easy to get and we all could have a great time. I had also heard about some fantastic wii fit things and harry potter games so I am pretty stoked. (if you can reccommend some great games etc, please let me know).

This time of year also means that we are closing in on the end of the year! 2011 - sounds like a space odyssey or something. I remember when I was little and imagining life in my 30s..It didn't really entail children or so I thought, but I had a husband and a house..so I guess I was a friggen clairvoyant at that tender age. Who knew I was so friggen cool? ~~Ya, I know I totally am but awesomeness of this magnitude...psh,~~

So you may ask, where the hell has IH been??? ~~You also may not fucking care either~~ For those of you who care, I have just been here.

I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner ....that's it. I hadn't (until last night) been out in what seems forever - but I managed to get a night off "momma duty" so my friend and I ventured into Toronto to see Jamie Oliver ---~~the bloody cheeky monkey he is~~ . It was a Q&A of sorts and really was entertaining. He's got a great personality for one, and his sense of humor is really like a lot of our own. Sexual innuendo's and double entendre's...

We had a fun night, took the train and I got to love the city!!! Walking downtown made me wonder what else can we do???! I love it there - although I couldn't live in a BIG city like Toronto or New York, I definitely need to appreciate and discover more of the area...

I have been working a lot also - still the normal hours, but it's been really busy so at the end of my days I feel completely exhausted. Having to manage the kids on top of that is something that I can only explain as overwhelming and intense.

We haven't done anymore caterings; although, we were approached to do one for someone. I feel like working with/for that group gets us nowhere. It's all promises and lies....we still hadn't been paid by them from the last "great idea"...so I am not at any point wanting to get into that again.

As for writing, and me time...well....I am trying.

I had written something the other day and I was really proud. I took a few moments to stop and get it off my chest ~~which could have been fueled by the 2 bottles of wine that mysteriously vanished~~ Drunk writing sometimes does allow something so profound and amazing to be written. Will I be sharing it??? Maybe.

You see, dear readers, there are some things about life that I hadn't shared as I wasn't sure of how to say it....some things that I felt I could be judged. We'll see. I will say that when you love someone, you love all of them - the good bits, the naughty bits and the worst bits...no matter what happens, you are always there standing beside them. This has been proved time and time again through the greatest of love stories....right down to the story of Mr. and Mrs. Insatiable.

Ok, so that totally killed the mood like a fart in the middle of foreplay - but whatever..I am back and will be trying to commit myself to writing more and frequently and awesomely (did I make that word up?!)

Anyhow, so whoever is out there, still reading my diatribes, THANK YOU and I miss you. I am now going to read my favourite blogs and catch up with you all...if you feel like making my night, please drop a comment and tell me how you are keeping!?! Tell me a joke - and if it's a good one or you make me laugh so hard that I spit out my drink, I'll call you my hero of the day!

Have a great night friends!!!

2010-10-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

I have hit delete all 3 times.

Words are there but they aren't making sense. Thoughts still come into my head and I giggle to myself but nothing really has stuck with me enough to make me want to write about them.

What is going on with me? Where are my manners?!

READERS..I am sorry that I am a craptastic blogger. Please forgive me and please kick my ass into gear and get me writing again. I have no idea why I can't keep my motivation or why my life ihasn't been interesting enough to want to share it with you all (well..maybe that's the problem as it's not interesting at all) but I am sorry and I wanted you all to know that I miss you and will get out of this friggen horrendous funk soon.

Quick updates:

1. Princess Pineapple Bottom Jeans had her kittens on Wednesday and then on Thursday they all died...they were 3 weeks premature and weren't strong enough to survive.
2. I lost my uncle on Thursday also. He used to call boys "ugly mutts" and always had a joke for everyone.
3. I am trying to get Mr. Insatiable a great gift for Christmas and have no idea what would be a good gift..(I am taking suggestions).
4. I am going out for a girls night on Friday..maybe this is what I need ??

that is my life.
what's up with yours?!

xo

Bang the Bangs!

2010-10-14T21:51:00.000-04:00

Yo dizzles! Whats the shizzle?!

Holy inconsistent blogger..who the eff does she think she is?

I am pathetic

what can I say? I have been trying to post and thinking of amazing and clever things to talk about. Life has been rolling at a steady pace for sure and on a daily, there are many things that make me laugh.

1. Lucas coming into my room with his one-piece pj's on saying "my fart is stuck in my pjs and it needs to escape"
2. Sophia lost her 4th tooth AND the

tooth fairy was a total whore

and didn't come until the morning...TFingG that I had her phone number and called her sorry ass up to make sure she didn't forget about my daughter!
3. Miserbella had a break down tonight at HomeSense while I was shopping for a shower gift for a shower that is not significant in my life what so ever...during the middle of the tantrum she stops screaming and says

"ignoring is a form of abuse"

really you smart-ass little 5-year old? Ignoring is Abuse!!!!! WTF?!?!? How did she figure this out before I did?!

Other points of interest....as you all know Mr. Insatiable and I have a catering company that we do the odd jobs here and there...so last weekend I we had an event where he was working during the hole process. What does this mean? Well...I had to do the event myself. I had servers, but the cooking for 24 people was were I was afraid I would shit the bed....WELL SHIT THE BED I DID NOT my friends!!!

I did enlist my mother for assistance but we really pulled it off. The event went off without a hitch. See for yourselves and yes, I am that person who posts food porn and the pictures are sideways...I have no idea how to rotate them, so just pick up your monitor and flip it sideways for a min...

Antipasto Skewers - Grilled Sausage, Roasted Red Pepper, Artichoke with Fresh Basil

Cajun Shrimp with Watermelon

Mini Beef Wellingtons with Demi

Pulled Pork Sliders on Ciabatta

Mushroom Cappuccino (Mushroom Soup with Truffle Froth)

Artisanal Cheese Platter with Rosemary and Sea Salt Crostini and other carbs

I also had made the conscious decision to go back to dark hair...well Darcie did for me...but the decision was made none-the-less. So I looked like this:

Tessa, Shannon, ME!!!

Then I decided that I needed to spruce up my Shabby-Flabby self and called upon Val (you know Val...the winner of the Pin-Up Contest)...so....now, I am a hot cup of tea looking all fantastic while I am Banging the Bangs!!!!

Swanky Momma Bangin' the Bangs with her new Gucci's!!

What's gone on with you lately? Have you had life pass you bye without leaving time to do anything???!!! Were you abducted by aliens? Please tell me you are all ok...I need to know that you haven't given up on me!

xoxo Mrs. Insatiable

I am stuck on a roller coaster and tears are escaping my eyes...let's drink.

2010-10-05T21:30:00.000-04:00

When life hands you lemons, pour tequila into a shot glass and bit the lemons!

When the world's got ya down, boogie down -- ya gotta get get get up and get down.

I am an emotional basket case. I feel like a strung-out crackhead who is on a roller coaster that is going backwards. I can't stop tears from escapint from my eyes and I am having a hard time trying to figure out where they are coming from.

I feel that perhaps I have too many thoughts in my head at once that I am literally letting the tears build up and now that there hasn't been a mass exodus they are revolting against staying in my eyes. Ok call bullshit if you will...but I dont know about you, but I dont have time to have an emotional meltdown.

I have 3 kids who pull my in all directions. I have a husband who could feel neglected by me and who also may not like the fact that it's been a week since I shaved my legs. (DON'T SCOFF AT ME!!!! I know there are more of you hairy beasts out there!)

I just am recovering from the worst bout of PMS and almost ate an entire chocolate cake --- I realized before I left the grocery store that I should pay for said cake, and get home before I sat in the isle by the bread to eat my feelings washed down with a gallon of milk.

Perhaps the reason that my fucking cat is knocked up is why I am experiencing all of these new found reasons to feel insane....SYMPATHY EMOTIONS!!!!! Oh god..brace yourself...maybe it'll be entertaining for ya!!

Anyhow, I better get going as I feel another wave of emotion is swelling up. Have a great night frackers!!!! Grab a drink and cuddle your emotions.

Cheers.

Belated

2010-10-04T22:17:00.000-04:00

Sadly, this post is LONG over due!!

I had great plans of grandeur, celebrations and even fun surprises to celebrate my blogs 1st birthday; however, just as we all know my life consumed me by floods, sick children, tattoos, makeovers and a crazy work schedule. I know its not really acceptable but what are you gonna do?

I know that 1 year of being together is a HUGE step and for those of you who's only commitment is to finishing a bottle of wine, I want you to know that I love ya!!!

Thanks for stickin with me...thanks for making my days brighter and for literally making me laugh until I cry or pee my pants or both...mind you that has only happened once. I feel awful that I didn't shave or wax for the occasion, but I figure that no matter what, I have always been real with you..so why turn into something that I am not for this occasion.

This week is really just going to be bat-shit-crazy for us as we have a catering on Saturday and little time to pull everything together. I swear I'll share the details, pics and food ideas on Sunday (if you're interested).

Anyhow, before I ramble on some more and turn into the sarcastic, snarky-pants that you have grown to love/tolerate, I just want you to know that if it weren't for you all commenting and keeping me so entertained I wouldn't have stuck with this!!!

Crash. into me...

2010-09-26T14:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday some little shit rear ended me.

We were at a complete stop (as there was a red light). As most people tend to stop at a red and go at a green, this person decided that this was not their niche. It wasn't serious by any means but I was with the kids and I as alone.

I had no idea what to do as all that was streaming through my head was YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!! I started trembling and shaking but I didn't let the tears surface. I mean, that would have freaked everyone out, right?

The kid who hit us was really upset - he knew he messed up and really he was just a totally decent person about the whole ordeal and made sure to check with me to see if I had kids (as I was driving a van).

I haven't been in an accident when it was just me or just me with the kids, so instinctively I called my husband to tell him and get some support to hold my shit together. We had the ambulance come check us out and aside from a little whiplash on me, I think we will live through it...I just totally hated that feeling.

You know that feeling.

Where you start to think about if it were worse? Like if the accident left me unconscious and the 6, 5 and 3 year olds would have to take care of me....I can't shake the feeling of being helpless and depending on them. Needless to say last night the kids got the emergency training.

Seat-belt check list
911 dialing techniques and how to unlock a cell phone.

I feel a little over protective but I really had a good scare put into me and now I just want to be prepared. Or, at least as prepared as one can be.

I can't shake that feeling - and my head is racing. Will it ever stop? Yo. I don't know....turn off the lights and I'll glow. :)

Happy Sunday peeps - how have you been?

Why in the hell.... Welcome Back Blogger - #5

2010-09-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

As you know my adventure of blogging started almost a year ago. At first my initial reasoning was to blog about cooking and how great that was. I mean, I love to cook - the kids and I do it every night; however, I wasn't letting my true voice shine.

There's a hell of a lot of personality here folks, and its really hard to hide...

I tried to write perspective pieces and they fell short -
I wrote pieces about things near and dear to me - again, leaving me feel as if there was a blank page infront of me.

I started to listen to my online friends....Sarah from Running with Scissors, Jennifer from Ex Hot Girl, Julie from A Day in the Wife and Sue from Did I Just Eat that Out Loud (ps SUE HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!) ...they were all talking about their "voice" and my "voice". As writers we know it's more so about self discovery and causing/making a reaction rather than the one thought provoking statement.

Through writing these posts and reading all along the journey you all have taken I have learned a thing or two about myself. I have learned that no matter what; there is only one man that I can ever depend on- one man that will only truly care...I am so lucky to have married him.

Through these writings, I have leared about me. What makes me laugh; what holds me from crying. I have done things that I wouldn't have ever done before! I think that on the road to self discovery things are revealed that you aren't expecting. People may not support you - but you also find out who your pillars of strength really are...and you learn how to test your boundaries.

I think that as it's been 1 year that I have blogged about me..I guess what I am still tryin g to say is that I blog so that I can own upto my own feelings...I blog to break down my defenses and show you the real person that I am inside; the one you don't see very often....

I just hope you all know that I luvs ya all and really love writing. I just hope that I can keep doing it!

Thanks for all the fun and let me know how you all are.

Welcome Back Blogger - Post # 4 -- She's Got Betty Davis Eyes...

2010-09-22T06:00:00.001-04:00

Write a new post about a woman who inspires you. (As an example, you can see Mama Kat’s recent Women Who Inspire post here.)

...and she moves you.

...and she knows just what. it takes. to make you notice...

I think that if I were alive while she was a young woman; she and I would be inseparable. We would have had the type of friendship that no matter what, we would have been the best of friends. I would have been there on the cruise around the world when my grandfather bought that ridiculous hat that made her look like a Q-Tip.

We would have written letters when life took us in different directions. Those letters would have been the things that kept me young. Words that I lived by and memories that would last me well past my years.

You see, she was delightful. A real gem - that's what everyone said. At her funeral they kept telling me that I was really lucky to have her in my life...but you know...they were the lucky ones. They were better people to be in her presence.

No matter what, her laugh filled your heart and wrapped it's arms around you and made you feel home. No matter who you were, you always were full of love...and meatballs. Regardless your position in life, she always made you know that when she told you she was thinking of you - you knew she was sincere.

I think that if we were to have met that at age 17 it would have been the best age...we both were quite intelligent and if I may be shallow - we were gorgeous. We had it all at this age! The difference that I see now, is that she knew she had it - and I am still trying to remember what that felt like.

Her love life was full and complete - like that of a fairy tale. I would have been jealous of how romantic the gestures that my grandfather had doted upon her - but I also would trade it for anything in this world just to be able to know him. I remember his smell and although I was less than a year when we lost him, I will always remember that smell.

When I looked at her when she was in the hospital - I saw what she meant by "my life has had many triumphs...many days where I laughed uncontrollably" that was the day she told me to not cry for her when she is gone - and the same day that I told her to "shut up" because I knew even then, that I would be an emotional basket case...she was right. I still haven't cried for her...don't get me wrong...I have shed tears - those ones that you allow sneak out of your heart while you are lying down...the ones that you blame on the commercial you just saw - or the ones that you feel come on and suffocate your throat when you think about her...those ones are different...

If I had that day over again, I likely would have put my foot down and asked everyone to leave me the hell alone. They too knew that I wanted more time with her - and that I couldn't buy any more either...all I wanted to do was ask her questions. I had asked her every question I ever wanted to explore the answers, but I would have asked them again to see if I could gain any insight into how to live and be as happy as she was. How could I possibly live my life and be half the woman that she was. For some strange reason she kept telling me that I was already -- but I don't see that woman yet. Maybe she is there. Maybe she is lost....or forgotten.

Regardless of the shoulda' coulda' woulda's...I know that she was the true essence of being a lady. She

A true lady was she.

She had Betty Davis Eyes....

Welcome Back Blogger - Post # 3 (When Swallowing Isn't so Great....)

2010-09-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

Re-upload a post with a title that you are particularly proud of and explain why...

Challenge 3 is something that could be either yay or ney for me...as you know I have had a few great titles in the past from Porn Stars and Yeast Infections to Shaawing!!!! Personally I have a few other favorites...but for me, this post really is something that I am proud of...it also really did well for readership...

commenting didn't do as much as I would love but I wrote it for me and it would be a little narcissistic if I spent my days commenting on my own posts now wouldn't it?

WHEN SWALLOWING ISN'T SO GREAT

Why am I so forgiving?

i don't understand why I am so forgiving...does it mean that I am a
weak person and let people walk over me, or does it mean I am strong for being able
to put it in the past...I don't think there is an answer..

There are many things that have occurred to me, around me etc and I have this inhumane capacity to tolerate bullshit.

As we know life isn't easy and often people get hurt, hurt you or ending hurting others without realizing it. I am here with scars on my soul so deep that you would think I am the most jaded person out there....but really I am not. I just swallow my pride a lot. Bite my tongue.

Hold my cool.

Sometimes I wish that I could learn to stay mad or angry but I can't. Call me a good person? Maybe...I do make mistakes daily. I am a bitch constantly...but one thing, I can't hold a grudge and stick it. There have been many experiences in my life, where I have been so low - so hurt and so embarrassed, that you would think that I was done with it all...finished with all those people who made fun of me. Took me for a run,

lied,

stole or hurt me. But, I am still here...and so are they.

Times where I have been so
humiliated and ashamed

to hold my head up. I wonder what is in me that makes me still to this day, almost ignore all of the residual hurt and shame which still allows me to function. I haven't really ever forgiven those who have hurt me so bad...instead I have over looked it, swept it under the rug and charged ahead.

Perhaps that's the secret....I deal with things, I say whats on my mind (you all should know that) but when it would end up hurting someone even more;

I just swallow

my pride. One time where I actually do, and it's not really good for me.

When looking at myself now, and am trying to improve myself along the way, I wonder if this is a part of me that should change or not? Should I keep swallowing or spit out this nonsense?

What do you think...do you spit or swallow?

(Your PRIDE...dirty piggies)

Welcome Back Blogger - Post #2

2010-09-20T06:00:00.003-04:00

Day number 2 of this challenge...I am ready for it. I am ready for this because I really love this idea.

Re-upload a post you wish more people had read and explain why it was important to you.

This post means a lot to me as it's really about who I am. Looking back over 10 years I have seen many things, lived through a lot and bought the T-shirts...one thing that surpasses any experience (good or bad) is no matter what, when I let myself just write without boundaries...something like this happens. I hope you enjoy....

twothousandten

In the year 2000 I had just turned 20... 20 is an age that really can define who we are. I had just moved back home to be closer to my family and boyfriend. 20 was the year that I worked every day and partied every night..no jokes. I met some of my closest friends when I was 20 and I learned to love entirely with my whole self.

2001 was the year that I wanted to have more fun that in previous years. We travelled, visited friends, laughed some more and became completely and utterly sure that I was going to marry Dan. In my heart of hearts, it was a sure thing and the questions hadn't been asked or answered until December 24, 2001. It was likely the most impressionable memory I have of Dan and I before we had children. The proposal happened so quickly, with swear words, physical violence and then one of the most sweetest things ever being said. I still get goosebumps when I think about it now.

2002 I tried to have a career job; a 9-5 job; a job that would pay for the wedding of our dreams. I worked each day and dreaded the next; however, if I could do one thing it was fake it until I looked like I made it. And I did! I made it...saved a ton of cash; and after moving into the house of my future in-laws, was tried, tested and sure that he was the man for me.

2003 Was chaotic. I was married at 23 years old. I was married at 23 and completely happy...because I had no plans of going back to my adult job after the month that I took off from work for the wedding and honeymoon. We traveled to Jamaica, and I fell in love with hot sauce, red strip, jerk chicken and the sun. We saw many of our friends get married also...one wedding stands out more than others though...because I got pregnant! I know it doesn't sound romantic and gushy, but sometimes when a boy and a girl have a few gin and 7s and she happens to look amazing, one thing leads to another and 10 months later (ya I said it 10) you have your first child.

2004 Life as a mother, wife and woman searching for answers. I am your mother Sophia. I am supposed to be here, to guide you, to teach you and most of all- by far the easiest of all, to love you unconditionally. In one moment after seeing her precious eyes, I knew that she held my world in her gaze. She held my heart with every breath and she kept me from feeling afraid that I would mess up. Instantly she made Daniel shed the shadow of Peter Pan; she held his world tightly in her hand; she held his heart with her breath and she whispered "I love you's" with the batting of her eyes. 2004 was the year that I thought it was going to be ok...until I celebrated my birthday and ended up pregnant again. My life was spinning around again and I wasn't sure if it was morning sickness or sheer terror.

2005 became a year that is still to this day blurry; foggy and confusing. I think I must have been really focused on each and every task because I can't for the life of me remember. I went back to work as soon as Sophia was 6 months, and worked full time and as much as possible. My pregnancy didn't allow the natural progression of life. I was interrupted several times with hemorraging, pain and traumatic experiences. I recall going into labour a few times within the 34th week of my pregnancy. She was born early. I remember that day and never will forget. My water was broken, 5 minutes later, my mother was standing in front of me ready to catch her, Daniel was out for a much needed cigarette and I was hating the epidural they told me later wasn't working. I know that I pushed 3 times and guessed that she would be born at 4:26 am and she was...I held her in my arms for only a second until they took her out of my arms and rushed her into the nursery.

This was the moment I knew I could kill another human being...the Lioness protecting her cubs. My roar could be heard through the entire forest-and they all knew I had to know what was going on. Thankfully, she was fine but wasn't breathing very well. She had a little rattling in her chest and she also was lacking in colour. My little dove was swept away from me without one instant of allowing me to gaze into her eyes, and having the chance to grow another heart for her to hold. She finally came back to my arms 7 hours later, after the epidural ended its course and allowed the one leg it did freeze to walk; after I had cried myself into an awake state of calm; after I had screamed at everyone around me and after my husband was able to say "hello". We finally had our family reunion, where we just sat all in his arms breathing her baby scent in, counting her fingers and toes; being held by her grace. Isabella was here.

2006 was the year that I knew something had to give. Having 2 children under 2 is incredibly busy, scary and hard. The rewards far outweighed everything that scared me as a mother; gave me insecurities as a woman and baited me like a habit. They were every where...a room full of noise suddenly sounded as calm as the ocean when they laughed. The darkest, dullest day brightened instantly when Sophia started to talk and I heard her say "Daddy". The worst days of Isabella's health issues were lightened with her smile and just how happy her eyes were. These big, beautiful blue eyes with so much life and happiness in them...just captivated me...and still do.

2006 was tragic. The strongest woman in the world I knew, left this world. Her grace and poise has been embedded on all the lives she touched. She captivated us all with her laugh, her sense of life and her value of family. She held our hearts with her last breath. She still takes my breath away when I think of her and my heart aches and falls apart with each memory. I wouldn't take this pain away because that is how I know she was real and it's the closest to hearing her laugh each time I cry.

2006 was supposed to be the year that I didn't get pregnant right in a row, and we did everything possible to not get pregnant. I was on the pill, we used condoms and when the condom broke, I went to get the morning after pill and still ended up in the hospital on June 2 (4 weeks early) pushing for 5 minutes until he was here.

2007 became the year I grew into motherhood.

He is the reason why love stories are written.
He is the one man in the world that could take me to this place in "love" where there isn't anything he could say or do that would make me stop caring. Not saying that I don't unconditionally love the girls; but when you have a son, it's your only chance to make the perfect man - and you want to be sure that you do everything in your power not to mess this one up.
He held me with his smile the moment he was in my arms
He held me with his breaths, as if I was as light as a feather.
He carried my spirits when they were low and instantly brightened them.
He was healthy, happy and affectionate when I needed a snuggle.
The day that he said "momma" I cried for almost an hour and am welling up with that very thought.
The day he was born, Daniel's dreams came true.
Daniel now has someone to carry his family name along and teach the values of our heritage, culture and to grow into a great father, just like he.
Daniel's eyes were passed along to him, and it was like looking at Daniel when he was a child.
His grandparent's life was complete with the girls - or so they thought. He held their hearts with his smile and his laugh.
She didn't get to meet him - and I know she would have been just as in love as I. She knew his name, and that he was coming and I know that if she met him, she would have been held in his heart forever. Now she is just a memory that we keep playing over and over in our hearts and minds...one that he will never completely understand; even though every time we pass by her grave he tells her he loves her. Love without first sight.

2008 was a changing year for me. I started a new job, left my babies behind for someone to take care of and mold.
2008 he took his first steps while I was at work; he took his first steps while his father only could imagine it.

2008 was the year that my first born angel started school.

I was a mother of a school-aged child.
I was a mother of 3 angles; miracles; little glimpses of my childhood fantasies of what being a mother would be like.

I had not only a husband to be a wife to; I had 3 children to teach, love and cherish...how would I do this all?

2009 is a year of uncertainty and even now, at its end I am uncertain.

There are many things that I know:
I know that my family is the most important thing to me.
I know that my husbands love is the one thing that keeps me grounded - even when I feel upside-down - I know that he loves me.I know that I grew a new heart with each of my children's births and that no matter how big or small I am physically, these hearts are the biggest hearts anyone has ever seen. They are the yottabyte hearts of the anatomy.

2009 has had many successes in careers, and personal relationships and in my marriage.2009 is a year that I can not wait to put this all behind me and look on to a new decade; a new age and a new hope for the next 10 years.

I can not change the past, I can only live for the future. The clock is running. Make the most of today. And remember that time waits for no one. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That's why it's called The Present!

I wanted to share this with you because after reading Just a Titch's decade in review, I realized just how far I have come...and how far there is to go - and I can't wait.

Welcome Back Blogger - Post 1

2010-09-19T22:25:00.000-04:00

"Welcome Back Blogger"

So as many of you know, I am a part of the SITS family. A wonderfully supportive group of women bloggers - bloggers that write of mommy tales, SISTER-hood and more...a group of women who keep strength and support going for many of us...if you want to know more...have you seen their button? Well if not, it's listed on the bottom right column or you can just take the easy way and click HERE

Anyhow, so last week they had a challenge to get you "back to blogging" that was paired nicely with Back to School...anyhow, so as I have been so pre-occupied with life and everything else, I really thought that it would be great to follow-through with this challenge - even if it is a week late.

Anyhow, so the first challenge:

Re-upload the first post you ever wrote on your blog. If interested, re-write that post, showing us a before and after look at the piece.

here it is:

9/26/09
And it is now 6:00 pm. I have a stew of "tout et n'importe quoi à partir de mon frigo va dans un pot" simmering; the kids are helping me tidy up for the night and a bottle of Barolo is decanting as we speak. This is what I live for - what I dream of daily and what lingers on my palate until my next culinary adventure. nothing has changed :) I am a mother of three darling little critters. My children are 5, 4 and 2 (now 6, 5 and 3) and yes this does make our lives interesting and full of the unknown. I have both varieties of children; the girls are the eldest and then the boy. I think that it's paramount that my children enjoy cooking and sharing food and laughter at the table. This is one of the foundations that I hope to pass along to them. When you sit at the table, after you have prepared a meal; built up your hunger through each chop, slice and dash; felt your tummy flip around like a fish out of water at the aromas in your house...the art of enjoying food... (Sigh) I AM STARVING! (still am) Tonight’s meal is simply put - Soul Food. Bruschetta of roasted red peppers, inoki mushrooms, roma and watermelon tomatoes, fresh pineapple basil and of course EVOO (you may be asking "is Rachel Ray joining them???”Why not?! Between her, Cat Cora, Julia Child, my family and all of you...welcome). I can't wait to enjoy this, as I have some goat cheese that is more excited to top the bruschetta than I am to eat it. The bread is lightly dressed with olive oil, fleur de sel and roasted garlic. We break the bread! I think that enjoying bread or buying bread, is like buying a diamond. The clarity...the cut...much like the crunch, the smell and the piece de resistance the dough...tonight, we are enjoying a simple sourdough loaf from my favorite bakery in town Pane Fresco (perhaps royalties are in my future???) I have to say that Marc Albanese is one of a kind, and truly a genius with bread. Who would have thought that there is a genius art form in flour, eggs, yeast and water...sheer genius. Any, so the bread is cut on the bias in 2 inch segments and after brushing the greatest invention in the world over them (EVOO), they are placed to broil on low for only a few minutes (2 in my stove, who knows in yours - just to a slight golden brown). I use just a simple rack to ensure that the bottom doesn't get soggy (cuz that's just wrong). I have my bruschetta pretty much done, as the ingredients are usually sitting in my fridge ready to go. Roasted red peppers are great to do in advance and freeze; inoki mushroom still in the bag; roma and grape tomatoes (thickly diced); roasted garlic; red onion diced and a great seasoning of salt and pepper. The pineapple basil is just from the garden and I take a handful and rip it up. Now that everything is good to go, I get the kids to top the bread, and the middle critter is the goat cheese freak. She gets the cheese all over, eats the majority, but the remainder tops our bruschetta making it look better than snow capped mountains. Again a gentle swirl of olive oil, fresh pepper and salt (grinded in a mill) then back to the oven to broil. The stew is now on the lowest possible heat! I can't believe how wonderful stew makes you feel. Today is usually the day that I like to clear out the fridge of this week’s vegetables, meats, leftovers and all as Sunday is Market/Grocery day! I have added, butternut and spaghetti squash (cubed and roasted on their own with garlic); sweet potatoes and Yukon gold’s; a couple cans of Roma stewed tomatoes ( I like to squish them in my hands before I put them in); a variety of lentils that have soaked and beans that have been bathed; there is chicken that I picked off of the carcass (thank you Metro 24); the skewer of spicy shrimp that I had from last night (there was 6 shrimp only so I had to dice them up); garlic cloves (roasted ones from the squash); red onion and half a Spanish onion; and seasonings of smoked and dehydrated peppers, a bay leaf, rosemary (just a little bit of powder), garlic, salt, pepper, red wine (no not the Barolo - it's actually the left over’s from a bottle that I didn't love (me, not love a bottle??? I know it's rare for those who know me, but anyhow, it was a bottle of Santa Carolina and for some reason, Chilean wine and I don't dance well together). (totally impressed at the use of my words) So there it is...simmering and bubbling away on my stove. I have also made a simple salad - this is a must! I enjoy salad so much that I could eat it for breakfast lunch and dinner. This glorious green masterpiece is just mesculin mix (extra frisee), cucumbers (from Ben's garden), red onion, red, orange and yellow bell peppers for the crunch, roasted red peppers (the left over’s from the bruschetta), roasted eggplant, sunflower seeds and craisens. I have dressed this salad with my homemade berry vinaigrette. It tastes delicious; however, truth be known, the colour of this dressing looks horrid - bright pink ick! Perhaps if anyone reads this diatribe, they will tell me how to control the colour. We now sit down at the table, eyes wide open, lips are being licked, and the smiles and laughter start to roll out uncontrollably. This is my heart and my life. The time that my family sits together and eats, is the best part of the day. The kids for the first few bites are silent aside from the crunching and slurping of their meal; however, as soon as it starts to settle in their stomachs the antics begin. The old one says how wonderful it is, the middle just giggles as she finds the cup of her hand full of the bruschetta mix and the little critter just watches and eats. I can't deny it really is great! I don’t know what is actually the best part of this meal...is it the bruschetta with the goats cheese so creamy and with that golden tinge to the tops? Perhaps it's the bottle of Barolo that had been sitting in the decanter, tempting me taunting me and flirting with its legs...no, it's the fact that at this very moment, nothing could be better than breaking bread, laughing and enjoying it with my family. Thanks for coming to dinner! Tomorrow is shopping, so let’s see what we get at the market and the store. My hope is for an incredible cheese (rich and creamy with a hint of smoke) so that I can make a multi grain pizza of vegetables; or a great steak for selfish reasons to go along side of my homemade frites...mmm. I also have to venture to the LCBO and pick out a few bottles for the week. Red, White and perhaps something clear hmmmm...Gin anyone?

Well there it is...i am incredibly hungry now and also am really proud of myself - and Mr. Insatiable. Rather than blogging about our food and how I wish that everyone would enjoy our delights we are starting to write a cook book. Details on this will follow soon enough; however, if anyone has ideas or knowledge on how to do it right I am open to ideas.

Have fun chickas!!! Post #2 of the challenge:

Re-upload a post you wish more people had read and explain why it was important to you.

The Sound Track of Life

2010-09-18T19:18:00.000-04:00

I think I am PMSing a tad..but i have to tell you that everything has been tearing me up. I watch a movie...I cry. I hear a song...I cry. I read a card...tears.

Mr. Insatiable tells me it's because i love everything. I try to find happiness in everything I do and everything that I see but sometimes my happiness and wishing everyone around me were happy consumes me and it makes me an emotional basket case...

so be it.

I am seizing this as a great opportunity to get the emotional baggage off my shoulder and be prepared to take on the commitment I made to myself to get back on track with my eating, living and laughing. Wanting to dance, laugh and smile whenever possible.

So, here it is...the soundtrack that I will be living to.

See that.. right over there...ya the MY PLAYLIST..yup!

What are your life's theme songs? Share them with me, I always love adding new tunes - maybe they will help get my ass in gear!

November

2010-09-16T21:18:00.000-04:00

Failure is not an option.

Rest assure that self-doubt is a common thought that lingers in the back of my head daily...but then I think about how I am not the only one trying to make it through each day.

I have no idea on how to ensure that I make the right choices in my life. Always two steps forward and three steps behind; furiously treading water while feeling like I am about to sink. There isn't one fibre of my being that doesn't think that I have a good life or a happy household, as as far as millionaires go I would be one of the ones sitting at the top; however, as far as feeling as if I were walking on quick sand - I fear that I will always have this on my conscience.

There have been many thought fill my head lately that keep me with focus on more than need be; but when I try to pinpoint what it is exactly that keeps me hedging I have no idea. This can only mean that November is coming soon.

November, when the days are longer; duller; darker. November when the days feel like weeks and weeks feel like but a moment. The feeling almost embraces me now, but I know that there are more things to consider before having to deal with November.

September brings on a new season; but it still keeps my mind refreshed and ready for each day. But knowing that November is around the corner and that hollow feeling of it is close by is sending me into an emotionally needy frenzy. Oh, how I wish that I could just wake up and feel as if every worry thought and notion was gone. Any feeling of doubt that each day will not end with relief...as if waking up from the best sleep you have ever enjoyed...With a new year ahead of us and a desire to renew myself I am sure that it will pass bye without too much pain.

*sigh* it's whats keeping me up at night - what makes me wake out of a deep and harmonious sleep...what makes me shiver at the very thought...of November

Kids in the kitchen...

2010-09-06T20:22:00.000-04:00

So, after a week-long hiatus, I am back motha's! How are you all doing?! What has been going on in your life?

I have been refreshed and relaxed and it's time to talk some serious buz-nass. I am taking a toll...For all you "Mommies" I want to know what your favorite food to cook and prepare with the kids is. What dish do your kids crave? What is it that makes it so great?

Do your kids cook with you? How do you get them involved? Me, I know that our kids want to learn how to be sufficient in the kitchen. We teach them about the ingredients, ways you can use the items and about the tastes etc...

They love to try new things and aren't afraid to be adventurous and do the bold and exotic foods. From sea urchin to alligator they have tried it...Chef Insatiable and I encourage them to try things just once...then they can decide if they like it or not...but we always keep them involved.

We get ideas for each meal for the weekend and for their lunches, because guess what?! If they suggest it, they will eat it!!!

I have been reading and reading and reading and now after Chef and I talked about it, we want your input too?? Do you have any great recipes that we can try with the kids? Really, it would be great to try them..got any secret recipes? What is your best meal?

If you are able to help us, I will publish the recipes here for everyone to try and will share with you the details...

Aside from this fresh way of thinking, I am back on track for posting. Sorry, I feel that sometimes when my life gets too chaotic my blog is the one that suffers; however, it's almost been 1 year of blogging and I haven't quit...(and don't intend to). I am still here and trying to balance my life.

The stay-cation was great...we did pretty much nothing but lot's of things..farmer's markets, day trips, plays, shopping, parties and more. We relaxed, shared in quiet time and revelled in our family time....it was soo amazing.

I will be back in full swing tomorrow with a fun and sassy post for you as I have some great things to share...hope to hear from you all soon about your favorite recipes!

I have no creative genius

2010-08-27T10:48:00.000-04:00

I am sorry that I have been a horrible host. I haven't made drinks for anyone, prepared NOMNOM snacks or have even said hello.

HELLO!!!

This past week has consumed my ability to prioritize, think and even appreciate those around me as much as they deserve...MR.INSATIABLE..I am sorry.

I haven't stayed awake past 10 each night, I have been burning both ends of the candle and I am trying to keep my head about - but some days you just dont. Anyhow, this brings me back to today.

This is the first day of my VACATION!!!!! I am really excited, as we have no official plans, just to relax and enjoy as much time with the kids as possible...and then send them to day care through the week. Mr. Insatiable and I will likely mate like rabbits, sleep in and generally do all the things we haven't done in 6 years since having children! I AM SO EXCITED!! I am also pumped as I will be painting the living room and some other things around the house.

Anyhow, a boring, non-sarcastic or witty post today but now that I have time to think and relax - you never know what will happen!!!

xoxo Danon

Feelin Frisky?

2010-08-21T22:39:00.000-04:00

I am perhaps a little prude when it comes to certain subjects but when it comes to

gettin it on'

becomes a grey line.

I should perhaps preface this post by saying no, I am not looking for ideas on where Mr. Insatiable and I can get down on it --- well...maybe, but before posting this idea, I took my quest for wonderment to my friends and facebook.

HOLY schnikeys I have some friggen awesome friends and I think now I know why they walk with that extra pep in their step. Quite simply I asked the question:

Where was the weirdest place

you have done it?

The response I got was overwhelming and shocking! I am actually surprised as some - didn't question it for other's and some people weren't too original - but perhaps that was simply because they have no imagination - creativity - or they just don't want to get caught. At least here, anonymous comments exist...maybe things will change.

Anyhow, so on my quest for more information I stumbled upon this amazing site The Frisky. The link you will reach will leave you questioning and perhaps thinking about how you would manage to do this...or in awe of those people who have already done the deed here.

I think that for myself the best place happened to be in the stretch limo we were in right after our wedding ceremony. I am laughing now just thinking about it... "I do" do you? "I do" now let's do it. We went for a drive in the limo after the ceremony..you know just to breath. All that time spent organizing, planning and everything you literally need a moment or so to decompress...well...that's not all but I am sure you get the drift.

Me personally, I can't say that I am all about the PDA or the thrill of getting caught. Sometimes I am just that girl who doesn't care where, when or why, but GOD DAMN it when I want something...I WANT IT. Mr. Insatiable is pretty much the same...the kitchen table, stairs...that's nothing...but when I asked my friends, and found out that in a church while Sunday school was going on...(no, it wasn't with one of the kids in attendance - I asked) or the fact that one of my friends went to the park and had her way with it I just wash gob-shocked.

I am still in research mode though...and ya know what? I want to know??? Where is the most ridiculous place you have knocked da boots?

The Frisky's list was quite adventurous I'll have to admit - I have listed it below...

1.The zoo NOPE

2.Behind a waterfall YUP - Honeymoon
3.Work utility closet Nope
4.Ladies Lounge At Radio City Music Hall Nope but maybe in October...
5.In the woods Nope
6.Police mobile unit Nope
7.Kitchen (counter, floor, restaurant, against the refrigerator) YUP, YUP, NO, YUP
8.On your desk at work NO
9.Public transportation (bus, subway, taxi, water taxi, ferry, trolley) NO - and I don't think I could
10.On the floor Yes
11.On a grand piano (à la “Pretty Woman”) NO - but that would be amazing
12.On a roof Yes...the roof...Mr. Insatiable do you remember that!!
13.Playground (note: not when kids are around, please!) No, and now that I have kids, I wouldn't ever
14.On a boat/dingy/catamaran No
15.Golf course at night Nope but I am not much of a golfer
16.In a room with mirrors Yes, but not with one of those circus places..
17.In an airplane restroom No, I remember when we were on our honeymoon, there must have been an instant where we both looked at each other, giggled then didn't
18.On the beach Yes
19.On a bear skin rug (bonus: in front of a roaring fire) In front of a fire - Yes, no bear skin rug ---
20.In a tent Yup
21.In your childhood bedroom Yes
22.In a body of water (river, lake, creek, ocean, puddle) Yes
23.On the hood of a car No...I don't think so
24.In a department store dressing room No I tend to not like those mirrors
25.In an elevator No
26.On a staircase 'giggles' Yes
27.On top of the washing machine while it’s running Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
28.Bar bathroom HELL NO..they are dirty
29.In your parents’ bed No comment.
30.In a field at sunset (bonus: a corn field or on a barrel of hay)

So now that I have exposed all...what have you got to say?!

Moments

2010-08-20T00:25:00.000-04:00

"Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths. Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive." Stacey Charter

There is a Chinese proverb that states when soul mates are born there is an invisible thread that is tied to each of them. As the years go on that thread pulls you closer and closer together until the day you meet. On the day that Mr. Insatiable and I were married, his mother read this proverb from a beautiful card she had given us in celebration of our engagement. I cherish this moment.

Your heart is pounding, palms sweating, butterflies are churning in your stomach....and you question your symptoms. "what is wrong with me?" "why am I feeling this way?" "Could he be THE one?"

I remember the moment our threads were pulled close together...our first kiss, falling asleep in your arms...crying into your shoulder...

There are things in my life that I will never forget. These things carry me through the days where I can't go on; the days that I need to cry and the days that I need a hug and you aren't there to give one to me.

Our first kiss is one of those moments. It was about 4 in the morning when you finally looked into my eyes and it was like it was written. Your hand slowly held the back of my neck and when your lips met mine, something happened like we were froze in our own moment in time.

Moments that hold your spirits high. Moments that allow you to step outside of yourself and know that there was one defining moment that you were truly blessed. Moments like when you held me to console my loss. Although I have remained slightly fractured since she made her exit, you have always kept her spirit as close to me as I keep her. Although I wish I didn't have such memories, when you held my hand at her funeral I knew that it wasn't just my loss - you shared in that pain too.

I have more moments stored away for another day that perhaps I will share them with you today. My heart is yours forever and always.

How to get your Feet Laid

2010-08-16T22:39:00.000-04:00

I don't know what it's called when you have a sincere dislike for something; like it totally creeps your creep...but because fetish can be good and bad this is the title for today's shenanigans.

I don't love feet.

I especially don't love ugly feet.

I don't really love pretty feet either, but it's better than fucking ugly feet.

So far are we on the same page????

Ok...so I am a pretty big observer. I like to watch people and also reactions. I am also big on making the biggest; grandest reaction possible as it will likely deflect attention to the hairdo that I have/size of my ass/ or fact that I haven't slept properly in 6 years... I also can't hold my eyes away when they are drawn to a monstrosity like

FUCKING UGLY FEET.

Case in point. I was walking today, as I do occasionally...not a leisure walk, but it was from the store back home. I noticed these people were walking by me, and I sort of tend to be looking down so that I don't trip or kill myself. Anyhow, so fugly 1 and fugly 2 were walking and I saw man feet that were amazingly taken care of. I think I could see a glistening of the recent application of moisturizer. Then I see heinous lady feet. I wanted to ask if she had a problem with her vision...I mean, her toe nails were gnarly, there was dead skin by her nail beds and it was rank. I got all of this from a 3.2 second walk-by.

People with feet.

Please follow this as an example of what to do.

1. Always exfoliate your feet. They won't look like death and they will likely feel great.
2. Trim your toe nails please. No one wants to see "Dumb and Dumber" feet. NO ONE...not even you!
3. Please try to once in a while push your cuticles back...if you don't your nails will look horrible.
4. After you bathe, apply moisturizer. Again showing your feet some love will make you like them more.

WOMEN

1. ALWAYS ensure you take the time to get a pedicure at least once every two months...if not once a month. This is a great way to get away from your life, sip cocktails, and have someone paint your toes...they may not speak English and also may talk to their colleagues about how nasty your feet actually are, but they will smile at you and tell you how beautiful your feet look when they are done.
2. ALWAYS paint your nails. Why wouldn't you?! Men find it more appealing, you will likely love your tootsies more and will want to take care of them if they are pretty.
3. If you suffer from BAD SMELLING FEET (men and women) please don't think that people can't notice this. They do. You have smelly feet...and not all of you are Italian so, you have to own this. Make sure that you are always washing your feet (this sounds like a given, but smelly foot vandals don't always do this). Wash your shoes. Carry talcum powder with you...you can actually get a great smelling brand too...this will help for those moments when you are at a persons house and have to take your shoes off...please excuse yourself, use the rest room and tend to business.

NOTE*************** This does not mean stick your feet in their sink and wash your feet with their bar of soap*******That would be considered worse than your fucking smelly feet.

Lastly, show your tootsies some love...get a massage, ask your partner to massage them. If you put his ____ in your mouth or if he expects you to do it again, guess what....they can rub your fucking feet. After all they will smell great, feel amazing and look hot!!! He'll be ready to do more than rub your toes after this.

See...aren't these super cute??? Currently my toes are painted "What's New Pussy Cat" it's pinky red and I love it...it makes my feet super cute and super sexy in heels.

When swallowing isn't so great...

2010-08-14T12:02:00.000-04:00

Why am I so forgiving?

i don't understand why I am so forgiving...does it mean that I am a

weak person and let people walk over me, or does it mean I am

strong for being able

to put it in the past...I don't think there is an answer..

There are many things that have occurred to me, around me etc and I have this inhumane capacity to tolerate bullshit.

As we know life isn't easy and often people get hurt, hurt you or ending hurting others without realizing it. I am here with scars on my soul so deep that you would think I am the most jaded person out there....but really I am not. I just swallow my pride a lot. Bite my tongue.

Hold my cool.

lied,

stole or hurt me. But, I am still here...and so are they.

Times where I have been so

humiliated and ashamed

to hold my head up. I wonder what is in me that makes me still to this day, almost ignore all of the residual hurt and shame which still allows me to function. I haven't really ever forgiven those who have hurt me so bad...instead I have over looked it, swept it under the rug and charged ahead.

Perhaps that's the secret....I deal with things, I say whats on my mind (you all should know that) but when it would end up hurting someone even more;

I just swallow

my pride. One time where I actually do, and it's not really good for me.

When looking at myself now, and am trying to improve myself along the way, I wonder if this is a part of me that should change or not? Should I keep swallowing or spit out this nonsense?

What do you think...do you spit or swallow?

(Your PRIDE...dirty piggies)

What Kind of HOT am I?

2010-08-13T23:01:00.000-04:00

PMS is taking over my life.

I have been staring in the mirror for the past 22 minutes analysing every bit of myself...I have just done my nails and hair and I have makeup on, so I feel pretty good. I am trying hard to find more reasons to love myself and I have been searching for the moment where I say "I love myself because I am hot"

This has yet to occur, 24 minutes have passed.

I started to wonder who the HOT police are? Why haven't they banged on my door yet and WHO THE FUCK told them they were sooo hot? Oh, you did?

I have been on this roller coaster ride called life, and for the past year I have been trying to improve myself, find my inner diva and make some changes along the way. I have lost weight, gained weight, gone from blond to brunette to blond. I have been up, down, side to side on the emotional scale and still manage to maintain some grasp of this reality.

Well...I want to know...How are people classified as hot? What kind of hot are we?

I think it would have to start with your own style for one. I wish I was one of the trendy urban/BoHo chic chicks; but I am not. My favourite accessory is my pair of Silver Jeans. I am that girl who rarely has the designer labels or the trend-setter. I do on occasion knock some threadz outta the park though...

Anyhow, in search of my inner HOTASS, I am also trying to find new styles, try different layers/textures. I am continuing on my weight loss journey and have started to see a difference again. Mr. Insatiable has noticed a difference also...

I wonder, what kind of hot does he see? Does he see my 19 year old self where my breasts held their own ground? Does he see me when I didn't have the mummytummy or the additional inches across my waist? Does he remember those days where I would come home in my skirt suit and fishnets....or does he see me know? And does he like it?

The good thing is...he does. Its taken me a long time to appreciate each and every wrinkle; laugh line; stretch-mark...but you know...I'm that kind of HOT! Laugh lines and all...28 minutes in, and I have found it. All you have to do is accept who you are, and instantly you allow yourself to see your true beauty (the one that's inside radiating out).

What kind of HOT are you?

I QUIT!!!!

2010-08-12T21:36:00.000-04:00

We received the following photos last night from a person who works with this girl. Her name is Jenny (not confirmed) - we're working our contact for Jenny's last name. Yesterday morning, Jenny quit her job with a (flash)bang by emailing these photos to the entire office, about 20 employees we're told. Awesome doesn't begin to describe this office heroine.

This was originally posted at www.thechive.com

Silent

2010-08-11T22:31:00.000-04:00

I haven't had many words for the past few days.
I have fallen silent.

Words have been a way to describe how I feel; however, right now, I am so unsure I just don't know what words would fit.

I decided that as part therapy and part intrigue, I would read the new "Post Secret" book...suddenly I had a thought or feeling about every post card that I read and wondered, what would my "post secret" be?

I haven't hid things from my family/friends/spouse
I haven't secretly lusted after a life that wasn't mine to want...I have just endured. Perhaps this is what it would be...

I want to know, has anyone ever sent in their own Post Secret? Would you do it? If you post your secret, do so anonymously but please do so....perhaps if I figure out one, I will too.

What if?

2010-08-08T00:27:00.000-04:00

Settling for any less isn't anything one would dream of.

Hold tight to your wishes and dreams for soon

they fade and leave you wondering...what if?

SITS Girl in the Spotlight

2010-08-06T23:29:00.000-04:00

If you don't already know, I love to meet new bloggers and I totally love when new VIPs enter this section! Now, The SITS girls are trying new and amazing ways to feature women more frequently and the SITS Girl in the Spotlight is how they are tryin to mix up some new cocktails!

I just submitted for this and hadn't vlogged in a hella'long time, so here it is...

Please go check out the SITS site where you will find you more about the SITS Girl in the Spotlight. Why not join in the fun and enter yourself. Not only does this mean you own time to shine, but think of how many amazing bloggers there are out there...and you get to sit amongst them and read some stellar blogs.

If you are new to this site, please stay and let me know what you would like to drink. If you have been here before, then you know where to find everything...please make it yourself.

In Your Eyes...

2010-08-05T20:31:00.000-04:00

I love my eyes. They can tell you everything about me. Every time I cry, my eyes turn grey - they also get really glossy and then puffy. The day after I cry I look like a strung out crack-head. My eyes are the window to my soul. When you look deep into my eyes, you know that there have been days where I have laughed my heart out; days that I have seen amazing things. You will know that when I smile I am full of joy and happiness.

When I am hurt, you know that although I can look into your eyes and tell you I am fine...I am really not. There are many times where I have hid behind my pride and had to be the bigger person. That's really what life is...being the bigger person. Right?

Some days you can see every single happy memory that I have! Each day that I have laughed until my belly aches and had tears in my eyes. Every time you look into my eyes you know that I have loved my family with everything that I have! Everything that I am! You know that I am loved....

When you look into my eyes, there are signs that some days have been longer than others - that there are days in my life that I would like to forget --- weeks...months and especially last year. I know that although my eyes have seen sadness and heartache - that they have witnessed injustice and disrespect. My eyes have aged over the years, sometimes they look like my mother's - tired, seasoned and jaded.

When you look into my eyes you see me.

What do people see when they see you?

WTF Wednesdays -

2010-08-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

It's been a long fuckin time for this one bitches!

I know that I have been worlds worst blogger when it comes to consistency, sending the message daily etc; however, I am getting better. I will say that I have the ultimate WTFW for you.

When I was in grade school...like the 2nd grade I was in a split class. This was when they didn't have enough people for a full class they put the smarter kids in the lower grade in with the slower kids of the grade above. Grade 2.5 was really great ~~not, it was fucking horrible like many of my years~~ You see, I have this thing with my nerves. When I get stressed, nervous or anxious I tend to have these things happen...call them symptoms if you will.

Hot flashes

Cold Sweats

Head Ache

Shaking in wrists

these things all aren't as bad, but they are the indicator that something wrong is going to happen.

It ain't gonna be pretty or girlie either.

So, on days when I wasn't at school 15 minutes before the bell, or at home when I was supposed to be (again 15 minutes before due) I would get so stressed about time. Like this fucking bomb was going to go off and have my heart explode. I have never understood where this all came from but its real and it still happens. ~~thank fuckin god not to the degree it was before~~.

I remember one day, I was in class and it was a hot dog day. You remember those days, when you forked over $2.00 for a stale bun, over-cooked dog and a shitty doughnut. Yah...them days.

I remember I stood up, to go get my stale doughnut and all of a sudden, lightening struck.

I totally shit my pants.

There aren't words to explain how mortifying this was. The worst part was it wasn't like something you could try to clear up. No, this was rank, explosive crap in my pants and my teacher heard me...before anything else, I had tears in my eyes and tried to fight them back. The good thing was (well... I don't really know how good this was ...but I am a positive person...so we'll call it the silver lining of the poopy pants) that she knew of my "issues". Instantly she grabbed my bag and called my mom. While I was never sure if other people actually knew what was going on, I always had that feeling like no one else deuces...you're the only one. I felt literally like crap because I would leave early on a weekly basis at least once.

I never had any disease or anything...I just couldn't control my fucking nerves. Now, this type of thing still happens. The good thing about being an adult is that you know when it'll happen. It usually when you are looking forward to do something really fun/special. When you wanna get a piece of ass or when you are at work/in the car stuck in traffic or other opportunities where you would be left to deuce yourself.

Occasionally, I feel like I will puke or crap, and I get confused as to what to address first. Luckily I can read my symptoms well enough to make the right choice.

I can't tell you how infuriating this is. How embarrassing that it gets when you have that urge..or rather, your body has the urge to spring clean your insides out.

Anyhow, so on that day...when the teacher looked at me like she knew I was going to explode or had just. I remember this kid standing beside me. I remember that I never really talked to them that much and I also remember that after I stopped crapping my pants (1/2 way through that year) I transferred schools. Today, now some 23/24 years later I get an email on FaceBook.

"Danon...I think you may be this girl I went to school with at ______ _______ public school. were you the girl who crapped her pants and then transferred schools?"

I. just. crapped. myself.

(no..I swear I didn't but what the fuck?!?!?!)

Did this person know that I had been searching for a good WTF story to bring this meme back??? Who fucking asks that? Like I don't have enough scarring from this emotionally and socially...

Dear FuckWad...I think you may have been that douche bag I went to school with at ..... ..... Weren't you that guy who got caught masturbating in the janitors room? Yeah, I thought you were!

Tastes Just like Chicken

2010-08-03T05:16:00.002-04:00

Remember when I started this adventure of blogging???

I know many of you don't ~~because none of you had any sense back then.~~ I thought that I wanted this adventure to be about food and my cooking with the kids...(sadly it's not as fun as my life -- but I do cook daily with the same amount of passion as I blog...just minus the swears). Anyhow, so I talked about food and made great meals for my family...and blogged about it.

Well, the kids are getting older now...you know, they are helping more and Sophia can make her own sandwiches now...(seriously this is hard for me to grasp). Anyhow, so tonight we are all sitting down for our dinner and we were talking with the kids about their favorite foods...you see..with me any my ass getting in gear I have devised a plan to plan my meals for the week and I totally want the kids buy in...thus making them me bound to the food I make.

The girls say the things that they love the most...mommy's salmon or tilapia; chicken; vegetable lasagna etc. But when it came to the dood he said "chicken".

"What kind of chicken" I ask him wanting to know if this kid even likes the food I cook..."Rib chicken, fish chicken, steaky shicken" I am totally clueless as to what this means...but had the fondest memory of Bubba in Forrest Gump talkin bout his shrimp.

It got me thinking about how we as parents introduce food into our children's lives...do we tell them everything that's in the meal or do we just say "it's chicken" so they eat it...

I know me personally, I tell the kids because we are in the kitchen a lot together and they are always with me grocery shopping. It's hard to lie to the kids and I think that the less pre-conceived opinions about food we give our kids, the less pickier they become. I always encourage the kids to try something just once before they say anything about the food. Then take a second bit to make sure you know...(kinda like how I buy wine...1 bottle to try it, the 2nd bottle is to confirm and the 3rd to have again ~~or finish that night~~

I asked the dood what he thought about chicken the food. he said "its good momma. i like it all the time because, um, its tastes healthy ...and you make cous cous" if you don't speak 3-year old that is "mom your food rocks and it's delicious! I love your cous cous the best"

Mr. Insatiable and I further discuss the "chicken" taste. With him being a chef, he also has to deal with people's pre-conceived opinions about food and how it should/shouldn't be cooked/taste etc. Salmon to me should be medium/medium rare- while the majority of you may scoff at anything under VERY WELL DONE. I feel that a fish with the head on is something to excite; while I know others are disgusted with the dead fish head on their plate. Medium Rare cow -- Yes please!! Carpaccio..totally!!!

I really am not picky when it comes to how someone wants to prepare my food...I'll try it. The best thing that I have ever eaten, that I was totally unsure of was when Mr. Insatiable and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. We went to this restaurant called Via Allegro where Mr. I's mentor and former Chef had worked. He told us to order the Jewels of Lamb so we took him up on the idea.

The next thing we knew, a beautiful plate was brought forth with 3 little "meat-balls" prepared with lentils and a chocolate-amarone sauce of some sorts. I can't quite remember the other things that came with this, but I remember the look on Mr's face and it was sheer ecstasy. Obviously, I say.."how is it??!!" the satisfaction was instantaneous. My next question immediately followed "can I have some?"

I took a bit of this "slider", the chocolate/amarone sexy food was in my mouth and it was amazing. The server came over and asked us if we were enjoying the starters...and totally we were!

"tastes just like chicken!" we chime happily, intoxicated by the food.

"Great, you know they're lamb balls right?"

Book Teaser

2010-08-02T05:00:00.001-04:00

I got the inspiration from Jenn aka The Ex Hot Girl who got it from Beth... and she got it from Buffy..but I didn't get to Buffy's blog yet....

Rules:

* Grab the book nearest you. Right now.
* Turn to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post that sentence (plus one or two others if you like) along with these instructions on your blog or (if you do not have your own blog) in the comments section of this blog.
*Post a link along with your post back to this blog.

Was Shazzer.
"Oh Shaz" I said miserably starting to blurt out the story.
"Stop right there" she said before I got so far as the oriental boy.

Bridget Jones - The edge of Reason
Helen Fielding

Now little whores...what are you reading???