I am sorry that I have been a horrible host.  I haven't made drinks for anyone, prepared NOMNOM snacks or have even said hello. 

HELLO!!!

This past week has consumed my ability to prioritize, think and even appreciate those around me as much as they deserve...MR.INSATIABLE..I am sorry. 

I haven't stayed awake past 10 each night, I have been burning both ends of the candle and I am trying to keep my head about - but some days you just dont.  Anyhow, this brings me back to today.

This is the first day of my VACATION!!!!!  I am really excited, as we have no official plans, just to relax and enjoy as much time with the kids as possible...and then send them to day care through the week.  Mr. Insatiable and I will likely mate like rabbits, sleep in and generally do all the things we haven't done in 6 years since having children!  I AM SO EXCITED!!  I am also pumped as I will be painting the living room and some other things around the house.

Anyhow, a boring, non-sarcastic or witty post today but now that I have time to think and relax - you never know what will happen!!!

xoxo  Danon

I am perhaps a little prude when it comes to certain subjects but when it comes to

becomes a grey line.

I should perhaps preface this post by saying no, I am not looking for ideas on where Mr. Insatiable and I can get down on it --- well...maybe, but before posting this idea, I took my quest for wonderment to my friends and facebook. 

HOLY schnikeys I have some friggen awesome friends and I think now I know why they walk with that extra pep in their step.  Quite simply I asked the question: 

The response I got was overwhelming and shocking!  I am actually surprised as some - didn't question it for other's and some people weren't too original - but perhaps that was simply because they have no imagination - creativity - or they just don't want to get caught.  At least here, anonymous comments exist...maybe things will change.

Anyhow, so on my quest for more information I stumbled upon this amazing site The Frisky.  The link you will reach will leave you questioning and perhaps thinking about how you would manage to do this...or in awe of those people who have already done the deed here.

I think that for myself the best place happened to be in the stretch limo we were in right after our wedding ceremony.  I am laughing now just thinking about it... "I do" do you? "I do" now let's do it.  We went for a drive in the limo after the ceremony..you know just to breath.  All that time spent organizing, planning and everything you literally need a moment or so to decompress...well...that's not all but I am sure you get the drift. 

Me personally, I can't say that I am all about the PDA or the thrill of getting caught.  Sometimes I am just that girl who doesn't care where, when or why, but GOD DAMN it when I want something...I WANT IT.  Mr. Insatiable is pretty much the same...the kitchen table, stairs...that's nothing...but when I asked my friends, and found out that in a church while Sunday school was going on...(no, it wasn't with one of the kids in attendance - I asked) or the fact that one of my friends went to the park and had her way with it I just wash gob-shocked.

I am still in research mode though...and ya know what? I want to know??? Where is the most ridiculous place you have knocked da boots?

The Frisky's list was quite adventurous I'll have to admit - I have listed it below...

1.The zoo NOPE

2.Behind a waterfall YUP - Honeymoon
3.Work utility closet Nope
4.Ladies Lounge At Radio City Music Hall Nope but maybe in October...
5.In the woods Nope
6.Police mobile unit Nope
7.Kitchen (counter, floor, restaurant, against the refrigerator) YUP, YUP, NO, YUP
8.On your desk at work NO
9.Public transportation (bus, subway, taxi, water taxi, ferry, trolley) NO - and I don't think I could
10.On the floor Yes
11.On a grand piano (à la “Pretty Woman”) NO - but that would be amazing
12.On a roof  Yes...the roof...Mr. Insatiable do you remember that!!
13.Playground (note: not when kids are around, please!) No, and now that I have kids, I wouldn't ever
14.On a boat/dingy/catamaran No
15.Golf course at night  Nope but I am not much of a golfer
16.In a room with mirrors  Yes, but not with one of those circus places..
17.In an airplane restroom No, I remember when we were on our honeymoon, there must have been an instant where we both looked at each other, giggled then didn't
18.On the beach Yes
19.On a bear skin rug (bonus: in front of a roaring fire) In front of a fire - Yes, no bear skin rug ---
20.In a tent Yup
21.In your childhood bedroom Yes
22.In a body of water (river, lake, creek, ocean, puddle) Yes
23.On the hood of a car No...I don't think so
24.In a department store dressing room No I tend to not like those mirrors
25.In an elevator No
26.On a staircase 'giggles' Yes
27.On top of the washing machine while it’s running Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
28.Bar bathroom HELL NO..they are dirty
29.In your parents’ bed  No comment. 
30.In a field at sunset (bonus: a corn field or on a barrel of hay)

So now that I have exposed all...what have you got to say?!

"Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns. Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths. Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge. Because the moments spent there, that take your breath away, are what make you feel truly alive."  Stacey Charter


There is a Chinese proverb that states when soul mates are born there is an invisible thread that is tied to each of them.  As the years go on that thread pulls you closer and closer together until the day you meet.  On the day that Mr. Insatiable and I were married, his mother read this proverb from a beautiful card she had given us in celebration of our engagement. I cherish this moment.

Your heart is pounding, palms sweating, butterflies are churning in your stomach....and you question your symptoms. "what is wrong with me?"  "why am I feeling this way?"  "Could he be THE one?"

I remember the moment our threads were pulled close together...our first kiss, falling asleep in your arms...crying into your shoulder...

There are things in my life that I will never forget.  These things carry me through the days where I can't go on; the days that I need to cry and the days that I need a hug and you aren't there to give one to me.

Our first kiss is one of those moments. It was about 4 in the morning when you finally looked into my eyes and it was like it was written.  Your hand slowly held the back of my neck and when your lips met mine, something happened like we were froze in our own moment in time.

Moments that hold your spirits high.  Moments that allow you to step outside of yourself and know that there was one defining moment that you were truly blessed.  Moments like when you held me to console my loss.  Although I have remained slightly fractured since she made her exit, you have always kept her spirit as close to me as I keep her.  Although I wish I didn't have such memories, when you held my hand at her funeral I knew that it wasn't just my loss - you shared in that pain too. 

I have more moments stored away for another day that perhaps I will share them with you today.  My heart is yours forever and always.

I don't know what it's called when you have a sincere dislike for something; like it totally creeps your creep...but because fetish can be good and bad this is the title for today's shenanigans.

I don't love feet.

I especially don't love ugly feet.

I don't really love pretty feet either, but it's better than fucking ugly feet. 

So far are we on the same page????

Ok...so I am a pretty big observer.  I like to watch people and also reactions.  I am also big on making the biggest; grandest reaction possible as it will likely deflect attention to the hairdo that I have/size of my ass/ or fact that I haven't slept properly in 6 years...  I also can't hold my eyes away when they are drawn to a monstrosity like

Case in point.  I was walking today, as I do occasionally...not a leisure walk, but it was from the store back home.  I noticed these people were walking by me, and I sort of tend to be looking down so that I don't trip or kill myself.  Anyhow, so fugly 1 and fugly 2 were walking and I saw man feet that were amazingly taken care of.  I think I could see a glistening of the recent application of moisturizer.  Then I see heinous lady feet.  I wanted to ask if she had a problem with her vision...I mean, her toe nails were gnarly, there was dead skin by her nail beds and it was rank.  I got all of this from a 3.2 second walk-by. 

People with feet.

Please follow this as an example of what to do. 

1. Always exfoliate your feet.  They won't look like death and they will likely feel great.
2. Trim your toe nails please.  No one wants to see "Dumb and Dumber" feet.  NO ONE...not even you!
3. Please try to once in a while push your cuticles back...if you don't your nails will look horrible.
4. After you bathe, apply moisturizer.  Again showing your feet some love will make you like them more.

WOMEN

1. ALWAYS ensure you take the time to get a pedicure at least once every two months...if not once a month.  This is a great way to get away from your life, sip cocktails, and have someone paint your toes...they may not speak English and also may talk to their colleagues about how nasty your feet actually are, but they will smile at you and tell you how beautiful your feet look when they are done.
2. ALWAYS paint your nails.  Why wouldn't you?!  Men find it more appealing, you will likely love your tootsies more and will want to take care of them if they are pretty.
3. If you suffer from BAD SMELLING FEET (men and women) please don't think that people can't notice this.  They do.  You have smelly feet...and not all of you are Italian so, you have to own this.  Make sure that you are always washing your feet (this sounds like a given, but smelly foot vandals don't always do this).  Wash your shoes.  Carry talcum powder with you...you can actually get a great smelling brand too...this will help for those moments when you are at a persons house and have to take your shoes off...please excuse yourself, use the rest room and tend to business.

See...aren't these super cute???  Currently my toes are painted "What's New Pussy Cat" it's pinky red and I love it...it makes my feet super cute and super sexy in heels.

PMS is taking over my life.

I have been staring in the mirror for the past 22 minutes analysing every bit of myself...I have just done my nails and hair and I have makeup on, so I feel pretty good.  I am trying hard to find more reasons to love myself and I have been searching for the moment where I say "I love myself because I am hot" 

This has yet to occur, 24 minutes have passed.

I started to wonder who the HOT police are?  Why haven't they banged on my door yet and WHO THE FUCK told them they were sooo hot?  Oh, you did?

I have been on this roller coaster ride called life, and for the past year I have been trying to improve myself, find my inner diva and make some changes along the way.  I have lost weight, gained weight, gone from blond to brunette to blond.  I have been up, down, side to side on the emotional scale and still manage to maintain some grasp of this reality.

We received the following photos last night from a person who works with this girl. Her name is Jenny (not confirmed) - we're working our contact for Jenny's last name. Yesterday morning, Jenny quit her job with a (flash)bang by emailing these photos to the entire office, about 20 employees we're told. Awesome doesn't begin to describe this office heroine.