Failure is not an option.

Rest assure that self-doubt is a common thought that lingers in the back of my head daily...but then I think about how I am not the only one trying to make it through each day.

I have no idea on how to ensure that I make the right choices in my life.  Always two steps forward and three steps behind; furiously treading water while feeling like I am about to sink.  There isn't one fibre of my being that doesn't think that I have a good life or a happy household, as as far as millionaires go I would be one of the ones sitting at the top; however, as far as feeling as if I were walking on quick sand - I fear that I will always have this on my conscience.

There have been many thought fill my head lately that keep me with focus on more than need be; but when I try to pinpoint what it is exactly that keeps me hedging I have no idea.  This can only mean that November is coming soon.

November, when the days are longer; duller; darker.  November when the days feel like weeks and weeks feel like but a moment.  The feeling almost embraces me now, but I know that there are more things to consider before having to deal with November.

September brings on a new season; but it still keeps my mind refreshed and ready for each day. But knowing that November is around the corner and that hollow feeling of it is close by is sending me into an emotionally needy frenzy.  Oh, how I wish that I could just wake up and feel as if every worry thought and notion was gone.   Any feeling of doubt that each day will not end with relief...as if waking up from the best sleep you have ever enjoyed...With a new year ahead of us and a desire to renew myself I am sure that it will pass bye without too much pain.

*sigh* it's whats keeping me up at night - what makes me wake out of a deep and harmonious sleep...what makes me shiver at the very thought...of November