The Last Supper

I didn't know how to start this post as I have had a bit of wine but I ate my last supper today ladies!!!

Some of you may not know but it was my 31st birthday yesterday and this is my year of life changes.  Tonight I ate my last supper of not watching what I am eating...not making the right choices or not taking care of myself.  It actually was pretty darn good.

"What did you eat?" you may be thinking...well, I had some olive bread with balsamic and olive oil; roasted garlic with brie; a great salad (lemon/oil/balsamic dressing) and a wicked Capelinni pasta with Shrimp, Crab and Portabello was amazing.

I also went shopping with my sister today as I was given some money for my birthday from my dad... we went into a couple stores first and it was a great time...the only thing that wasn't great is that I have a phobia of shopping.  I get all nervous, my eyes get out of whack like I am dizzy or something and I get nervous sweat. I have no idea why but it happens.  This time was ok - there were a few things I was drawn to but she steered me in the right direction and I actually liked what I got!  I got this great beige jacket/blazer, a crochet light blue tank top and a really nice cobalt blue shirt and this great sleeveless sweater with a cowell neck.  The thing was that the process leading up to my purchases resulted in my admitting to myself that I had gained a solid 20 lbs back since my surgery back last year and that I had another 20 lbs sitting on my ass full of feelings... I had literally gained the weight of my daughter!  This made me completely sick!  I looked at my arms and wanted to instantly run back into the room.  It's funny when you look at yourself some days you don't see any thing you love - but today I just saw how much of me there was to love.

I can't wait though as I have a goal and a date to work towards.  Now, I am sitting at 187lbs and I am 5"5'.  I have a pear shaped body.... my tits are huge and my hips are waist isn't that huge though; however, the fact that my torso is short and my jugs are so friggen large it looks like I don't have a mid section...that's a new topic though.  Look in the future for "breast reduction" as this is something that I am considering....

Anyhow...the goal is my sister's wedding!!!  The date is set for Saturday October 6, 2012 and that will give me ample time to work on this goal and time to learn how to maintain it.  I am really looking forward to it though as I know that when I loose this weight, I'll feel more like me again!!!

I have got my breakfast/lunch all ready for tomorrow.  I made a great wrap of veggies and turkey on weight watchers wraps, tomato and avocado mixed with mustard (1 slice of avocado about 2 cm thick with a squirt of Dijon mustard).  I have an activia vanilla yogurt with 130 MLs of muslix; a banana; water; almonds and raisins.  I think this will make a good balanced day and I wont be wanting to bite my arm off afterwards...  Until the next time I get to talk with you all, I hope that your new year is full of love and happiness.