I have hit delete all 3 times.

Words are there but they aren't making sense.  Thoughts still come into my head and I giggle to myself but nothing really has stuck with me enough to make me want to write about them.

What is going on with me?  Where are my manners?!

READERS..I am sorry that I am a craptastic blogger.  Please forgive me and please kick my ass into gear and get me writing again.  I have no idea why I can't keep my motivation or why my life ihasn't been interesting enough to want to share it with you all (well..maybe that's the problem as it's not interesting at all) but I am sorry and I wanted you all to know that I miss you and will get out of this friggen horrendous funk soon.

Quick updates:

1. Princess Pineapple Bottom Jeans had her kittens on Wednesday  and then on Thursday they all died...they were 3 weeks premature and weren't strong enough to survive.
2. I lost my uncle on Thursday also.  He used to call boys "ugly mutts" and always had a joke for everyone.
3. I am trying to get Mr. Insatiable a great gift for Christmas and have no idea what would be a good gift..(I am taking suggestions).
4. I am going out for a girls night on Friday..maybe this is what I need ??

that is my life.
what's up with yours?!


Bang the Bangs!

Yo dizzles! Whats the shizzle?!

Holy inconsistent blogger..who the eff does she think she is? 

I am pathetic
what can I say?  I have been trying to post and thinking of amazing and clever things to talk about.  Life has been rolling at a steady pace for sure and on a daily, there are many things that make me laugh.

1. Lucas coming into my room with his one-piece pj's on saying "my fart is stuck in my pjs and it needs to escape"
2. Sophia lost her 4th tooth AND the
tooth fairy was a total whore
and didn't come until the morning...TFingG that I had her phone number and called her sorry ass up to make sure she didn't forget about my daughter!
3. Miserbella had a break down tonight at HomeSense while I was shopping for a shower gift for a shower that is not significant in my life what so ever...during the middle of the tantrum she stops screaming and says
"ignoring is a form of abuse
really you smart-ass little 5-year old?  Ignoring is Abuse!!!!! WTF?!?!?  How did she figure this out before I did?!

Other points of interest....as you all know Mr. Insatiable and I have a catering company that we do the odd jobs here and there...so last weekend I we had an event where he was working during the hole process.  What does this mean?  Well...I had to do the event myself.  I had servers, but the cooking for 24 people was were I was afraid I would shit the bed....WELL SHIT THE BED I DID NOT my friends!!!

I did enlist my mother for assistance but we really pulled it off.  The event went off without a hitch.  See for yourselves and yes, I am that person who posts food porn and the pictures are sideways...I have no idea how to rotate them, so just pick up your monitor and flip it sideways for a min...

Antipasto Skewers - Grilled Sausage, Roasted Red Pepper, Artichoke with Fresh Basil

Cajun Shrimp with Watermelon

Mini Beef Wellingtons with Demi

Pulled Pork Sliders on Ciabatta

Mushroom Cappuccino (Mushroom Soup with Truffle Froth)

Artisanal Cheese Platter with Rosemary and Sea Salt Crostini and other carbs

I also had made the conscious decision to go back to dark hair...well Darcie did for me...but the decision was made none-the-less.  So I looked like this:

Tessa, Shannon, ME!!!
Then I decided that I needed to spruce up my Shabby-Flabby self and called upon Val (you know Val...the winner of the Pin-Up Contest)...so....now, I am a hot cup of tea looking all fantastic while I am Banging the Bangs!!!!

Swanky Momma Bangin' the Bangs with her new Gucci's!!
What's gone on with you lately? Have you had life pass you bye without leaving time to do anything???!!!  Were you abducted by aliens?  Please tell me you are all ok...I need to know that you haven't given up on me!

xoxo Mrs. Insatiable

I am stuck on a roller coaster and tears are escaping my eyes...let's drink.

When life hands you lemons, pour tequila into a shot glass and bit the lemons!

When the world's got ya down, boogie down -- ya gotta get get get up and get down.

I am an emotional basket case. I feel like a strung-out crackhead who is on a roller coaster that is going backwards.  I can't stop  tears from escapint from my eyes and I am having a hard time trying to figure out where they are coming from.

I feel that perhaps I have too many thoughts in my head at once that I am literally letting the tears build up and now that there hasn't been a mass exodus they are revolting against staying in my eyes. Ok call bullshit if you will...but I dont know about you, but I dont have time to have an emotional meltdown.

I have 3 kids who pull my in all directions.  I have a husband who could feel neglected by me and who also may not like the fact that it's been a week since I shaved my legs.  (DON'T SCOFF AT ME!!!! I know there are more of you hairy beasts out there!)

I just am recovering from the worst bout of PMS and almost ate an entire chocolate cake --- I realized before I left the grocery store that I should pay for said cake, and get home before I sat in the isle by the bread to eat my feelings washed down with a gallon of milk.

Perhaps the reason that my fucking cat is knocked up is why I am experiencing all of these new found reasons to feel insane....SYMPATHY EMOTIONS!!!!!  Oh god..brace yourself...maybe it'll be entertaining for ya!!

Anyhow, I better get going as I feel another wave of emotion is swelling up.  Have a great night frackers!!!! Grab a drink and cuddle your emotions.



Sadly, this post is LONG over due!!

I had great plans of grandeur, celebrations and even fun surprises to celebrate my blogs 1st birthday; however, just as we all know my life consumed me by floods, sick children, tattoos, makeovers and a crazy work schedule.  I know its not really acceptable but what are you gonna do?

I know that 1 year of being together is a HUGE step and for those of you who's only commitment is to finishing a bottle of wine, I want you to know that I love ya!!!

Thanks for stickin with me...thanks for making my days brighter and for literally making me laugh until I cry or pee my pants or both...mind you that has only happened once.  I feel awful that I didn't shave or wax for the occasion, but I figure that no matter what, I have always been real with you..so why turn into something that I am not for this occasion.

This week is really just going to be bat-shit-crazy for us as we have a catering on Saturday and little time to pull everything together.  I swear I'll share the details, pics and food ideas on Sunday (if you're interested).

Anyhow, before I ramble on some more and turn into the sarcastic, snarky-pants that you have grown to love/tolerate, I just want you to know that if it weren't for you all commenting and keeping me so entertained I wouldn't have stuck with this!!!