There once was a host from Nantucket;
Who had a blog and then said fuck it.
She felt rushed for time;
Didn't make a dime;
So she stopped writing for a while, so just suck it.
After a while the host became board;
She literally started to hoard;
Not a scary type binge;
But an array of such things;
That she purged her collection and gorged.
The Host wasn't some lame-ass mom;
Who didn't care about right from wrong;
She missed her blog tons;
But couldn't get off her buns;
For her posts to be witty and spot-on.
One day the Host became scary.
That bitch even let her legs grow hairy;
She had a stiff drink;
Her eyes they did blink
As she woke up to her blog-mother fairy.
Dear host, she did say;
why, you're gonna go grey;
Get up off your ass;
and write with spunk and some sass;
Now hurry up - don't stop along the way...
Dearest readers of the lost blog...this is the flagship entry I think of this year...maybe not that pathetic; but it's close. But, truth be told I needed a mental shut down. While life has taken hold of me by both tits, I feel like in some way I have grown, shrunk and have allowed myself to live again in the past x months.
I know you're likely questioning..did she go to re-hab, have plastic surgery...something....and the answer is no. I have lived.
*I went to New York with work and was able to experience the US Open for Tennis.
*I played with my kids, till my jeans wore thin and got dirty from the sand.
*I lost 14 lbs.
...did I mention I lost 14 lbs?
You're fuckin right I did...
dear USANA...thank you for the RESET kit. you have made my life enjoyable (because I can wear my sexy jeans now).
I have worked my buns off and still do but I also had almost 2 weeks off and have an entirely different approach to life right now...its insane what time can do.
Anyhow, I figured that as I had the time I would literally devote these past 5 minutes to each and everyone of you. I mean, how could I not...I hope you all are well and I am going to try to get my ass in gear again as I do have some incredibly funny things to share that had occurred in my life.
What's shakin' in yours?
