It's all business in the front and party in the back's been a while my friends...

today I am interrupting my 30 Day Photo Challenge to bring some fuckin sass and a bit of attitude.  I'm gonna work this rant like Tyra works her forehead. IM GONNA BE FIERCE.

There have been so many things I wanted to write but literally hadn't found the time nor muster up the balls it takes to really rock out a post...lame I know..whatever, I'll accept the FAIL I just received but you know what fucker?  I am gonna tell you something, I have been blogging for over a year ya know..that means I am somebody!!!

Ok, well ... no it doesn't mean I am somebody, just ask my 100th former-follower who decided to drop me instead of their dependency on reality TV.  Whatever, who needs ya!  

(Narrator  reads over this melodrama) Inside I was dying.  I couldn't believe that I have let myself and my blog go for so long that people, those dedicated readers who make me laugh and feel loved with their words, have started dropping like flies.  2 in one week.  The last time that this happened I lost 8 of them... I got through it right?!  RIGHT!  

Anyhow, so now that I have a more selected audience that'll teach em, I have to say that I have had a few nights out on the town, a great holiday with family and the 3 friends that I currently have and am gearing up for another increase of my age.

Saturday I turn 31.  I was talking with a friend from work who just turned 31 on Friday and she had the best idea...tell people I'm 40, so that way in 9 years I am really great at it and feel confident enough to rock it.  Not only this, but how many people will be like.."you're 40, you look amazing!"    Ya, that's right!  Well she was the bomb for this thinking and I am going to now adhere to the same strategy.

Two weeks ago, I saw Chelsea Handler.  Who knew that she was banging 50?!  oh, sorry, Fiddy.  I sure as shit didn't but I do know that i haven't laughed so hard as I did that night.  If it weren't for her talking about how her friend of the "homosexual" variety goes to bleach his asshole (SOMETHING THAT I AM SERIOUSLY CONFUSED OVER).  As she isn't a "follower" and rather prefers herself a "trendsetter" she tells us how she used a Crest White Strip to do the job!  We heard about how she hates balls and how much she loved to play with her Coslopus.  Seriously who knew that I had enough patience to listen to a valley girl?!  Cuz that was the biggest shock to me!

If you get the chance, I suggest reading all of her books; watch her TV show and then stalk her on twitter.  She's hella-funny and that's my bit on Chelsea Handler.

Christmas came faster than the 3 minute quickie that Mr. Insatiable and I had the other night.   It was full of laughter, my kids getting spoiled and a whirlwind of visiting family, lack of alcohol for some reason and ended with a new addiction to my Wii.  I am a Wii-whore. These mario brother's don't know what they have inherited now that I am on their side.  Fuck I wish I had an animated self... I think that sadly I would look like Toad and King Coopa had a daughter though.

Anyhow, I am really glad that I got this post out also because I have a big year ahead of me.  I am taking my health head on and am making life changes!  I am going to have even more fun than I had this year and I am taking all of you bitches with me!  If you can't handle it, then jump ship now - cuz it's gonna be a great one!!!

On a serious note though, I sincerely wish you all have an amazing New Year!  I wish to you all success, wealth and health.

Keep it real mo'fo's!!


Smart Ass Sara said...

I absolutely LOVE Chelsea Handler. I hope someday...when I'm pushing toward my 40s.. that I can have my very own show. I could rock that out. I can interview people like that. I wish I could have seen her but the closest she came to me was Milwaukee and that would have been hotel and 6 hours of driving. One way. Matt said no. Fucking good time killer.

Kristy said...

"Ambien and vodka, people. Ambien and vodka." -CH