Holy Bat-Shit-Crazy Kids

I have kids; you likely have kids... people have kids.

Yesterday was an adventure from hell I tell ya.  

It's such a blast when they all start to not listen while we are in a home furnishing store.  I can't tell you how much love there is in my voice after telling them to stop climbing on the furniture that is displayed - or that when I told my son "no you can't have jelly beans that cost $12 for the package"...he turned into a friggen psycho.  I literally almost turned into a fucking turtle and sunk into my shell.  AND to top it off, the little bitch-face cashier just looked at me and rolled her eyes!

Well... we all know that I am not one to fuck with, especially when the critters are making it hard to win the battle.  I happened to ask her if this was amusing -- she just looked at me with the dumbest expression on her face.  When this happened, I politely grit my teeth together and told her that if she didn't hurry the fuck up that I would climb over the counter and switch places with her.  I also told her I would pay her $50 bucks to take that friggen look off her face and do her job rather than judging a mother who is going through a mega meltdown.  She didn't understand,  and again rolled her friggen eyes.  To her manager, I feel awful for the letter that I have written my rant to, as I feel that after I am done, that poor girl may not have a job to pay for her fake nails and cell phone bill.

Lucas though she was rolling her eyes at him and started to wail even more.  In my head I was a volcano erupting.  I heard my heart beat in my ears and felt that little twitch in my neck start.  She had that dumb look on her face too where her mouth just gaped open and she flung her hair to the side, and then Lucas said "stop rolling your eyes at me lady, it's really rude and you're hurting my feelings".  Well that was it.  I may have lost it again...on her.

Yes he was freaking out.
Yes he wasn't listening to me
Yes we were in public and I was beyond humiliated...
BUT He is 3!  This is what happens...  She totally made him feel horrible and didn't let her get away with it.

I am glad that he said something; although maybe the fact that I was going through the trauma of him freaking out and my wanting to clobber the girl with the new lamp I bought, I wasn't sure what side of my internal war was going to win.

I looked down at my little man, and he looked up at me, with tears in his eyes and said "momma, I'm sorry for being such a bad boy..and I love you so much momma"..well that ended the twitching.... I turned to her, and she was trying to take my payment.  I asked her if she could please start bagging up my lamps and painting, and also was asking if there could be a carry out for me as I have 3 kids with me...

no answer


no answer, she was busy talking to another girl...something about her plans for later.

Excuse me miss.  When you're finished with planning your night out could you please let me know so I can get out of this store...I am not sure if you realize that this isn't ideal for me either and the noise from my son is making my head spin around.

I couldn't believe it!!!  That'll teach me, I'll never bring the kids out again to a store that is supposed to make me feel happy!