Why am I so forgiving?
i don't understand why I am so forgiving...does it mean that I am a
weak person and let people walk over me, or does it mean I am
strong for being able
to put it in the past...I don't think there is an answer..
There are many things that have occurred to me, around me etc and I have this inhumane capacity to tolerate bullshit.
As we know life isn't easy and often people get hurt, hurt you or ending hurting others without realizing it. I am here with scars on my soul so deep that you would think I am the most jaded person out there....but really I am not. I just swallow my pride a lot. Bite my tongue.
Hold my cool.
Sometimes I wish that I could learn to stay mad or angry but I can't. Call me a good person? Maybe...I do make mistakes daily. I am a bitch constantly...but one thing, I can't hold a grudge and stick it. There have been many experiences in my life, where I have been so low - so hurt and so embarrassed, that you would think that I was done with it all...finished with all those people who made fun of me. Took me for a run,
stole or hurt me. But, I am still here...and so are they.
Times where I have been so
humiliated and ashamed
to hold my head up. I wonder what is in me that makes me still to this day, almost ignore all of the residual hurt and shame which still allows me to function. I haven't really ever forgiven those who have hurt me so bad...instead I have over looked it, swept it under the rug and charged ahead.
Perhaps that's the secret....I deal with things, I say whats on my mind (you all should know that) but when it would end up hurting someone even more;
I just swallow
my pride. One time where I actually do, and it's not really good for me.
When looking at myself now, and am trying to improve myself along the way, I wonder if this is a part of me that should change or not? Should I keep swallowing or spit out this nonsense?
What do you think...do you spit or swallow?
(Your PRIDE...dirty piggies)