How is "fake" bad???

So I was talking to my cousin today and he was describing some random administrative assistant and how she was likely fake...fake hair, nails, breasts and it got me thinking....How bad is "fake"??? If you are fake with your friends -YOU SUCK BALLS! If you have fake boobs, then you spent a lot, but you likely feel great about the fact you have a personal floating device always; that you will never feel like a gorilla with Bob's Bitch Tits and their sag; and you will never really feel as if one is bigger than the other. If you have fake hair you may be in porn flicks; have killer amazing hair to style; be named Rapunzel or have spent a lot Fake nails - who hasn't ever done this?? well for the most part, it's way more attractive when you have a manicured paw...but unless it's done right, you deffinately are in for a shock when you realize that the manicurist did a bunk job and now its gonna hurt like balls to get them off.
Fake bootie - ok, butt implants make me laugh as do the undies that have padding...as if we dont have enough padding to keep that stuff in order...ladies, if you need some, i have plenty-o-bootie to go around...
Fake O's -ok. this is where we get into the truth at hand. Ok, so at the ending of the movie "the ugly truth" (my boyfriend Gerard Butler and Kathryn Heigel) you see this smart clip where they just finish, and she is smiling...but you dont know if she did or didn't...and he is CLUELESS!!!! this is where my question comes into play... is faking an Orgasm ok?? is it wrong to do? do men feel robbed if we do? can they really tell (not likely because every woman is an actress) but is it wrong for us to do it? I can't say i have never faked, because that would be a BIG. LIE. but I think that after rethinking my decision, it's robbing me of the glorious moments where I can let go, and just ..... (go to 3:36 cuz its not uploading) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nT3n2wv0vq4
Does faking an "o" burn as many calories or more than if it were real? These are the questions that shatter my sleep!!! Also, many women know when a guy is gonna "shemmmaseeeema shuuuu la la la", why is it so difficult for men to know for us??? Unless we spell....it.....out!!!! I think this just brings us back to the fact that women have it rough in all area...
we have to sit down when we pee (most of us)
we are the ones to get pregnant and have the rodents grow in us
we get pms, mms, and the bitch - and thank you lord because we also get menopause
not only do those things not rank highly on my list of why I love being a women,
we also have to do the "clean up" after and "oh" session...what gives here!!??
the great part is, we can always say with a smile, "yes hunny, i did! thank you....you were amazing!" and they will never know. As a species we should all feel guilt when this happens..right?

4 comments:



Anonymous said...

Ok D... Faking an O is BAD ... you should know this... well i would say it would only be good if your in a terrible position aka: 1 night stand...then by all means FAKE IT till you cant anymore, get it over with and get the F**K out! ...OR if you just dont want it to be silent... but dont fake the whole thing.... BUT: if your in a relationship.. fuck ... if your faking it.. your robbing yourself. . and your man. dont you think? Think about it: in the end your going to like it anyway. . fakig it would cut yourself short and also give him or her mixxed signals.. cause they will think 'well you finished in like 5 minutes the other day, why is it taking so long?!?' and if your in a relationship you should be able to tell them whats good and whats not right?!? Anyways... try not to fake it, cause your in the wrong..if you dont get off... well... whos in the wrong?

-the seis.

Anonymous said...

and PS... YOu do the clean up... if you would just swallow... :)

-the seis

Julie said...

Faked when I was younger, and then got older and thought WTF!?! That is just really counter-productive to MY goals! Never with the husband, because DAMN.

And Holy Mother, you are premeiring New Moon!!! I am sooooo excited for you! I will live vicariously through the Insatiable Host! Have a rum and coke for me and enjoy the eye candy!

The Insatiable Host said...

ok, so I was more so asking how wrong wrong can be...that's all. First..my man can do the rhumba, samba and cha cha cha!! No need for faking..but the ending of that movie really left me thinking...who is it more wrong for???