Ike has nothing on you...and Im the one to get bitch-slapped!

TRUE STORY So in all things fun and lovey-dovey, Daniel and I have been really on a great little path for a while. You know how things are just great and fun and you love love love being near the other person??? Ya, well up until this post is how I was feeling... Yesterday we were talking when he got home, recapping the day if you will. Some how a playful game of slap/kick/tickle came along (this is not code for nookie alright?!) You know how this starts..you lightly slap them, and they think that you are weak and they are cooler....so they try to tap you back but just a little bit harder....and they happen to have that little playful yet smoulderingly sexy grin...yah you know what i am talking about!!! So this game is going on, over something ridiculous like "make me a sandwich" or "i want to snuggle with you (aka get some nookie) or whatever...and then I go for a tap on the face...LIKE A TAP okay and what happens.. Yah, so I totally got bitch slapped by Ike Turner....what the eff!?? I am going to tell you, that first off, I do not think that domestic abuse, spousal abuse or any sort of abuse is acceptable, right or funny; however, in this instance, as we were both consenting adults horsin' around and I do not consider this abusive an any matter...it was pretty fuckin funny.

I went into the kitchen to laugh away the tears that had surfaced - and I gotta tell ya, it fuckn hurt!! I couldn't believe him...and that he did that...IMMEDIATELY after it happened he was all "wow, that was way to hard, are you okay?" and did apologize to me...I (in fear of his masculinity) kept answering "yes sir, I am"

Now, every time he gets angry or stressed or anything...I call him Ike... "gear down Ike, you don't want to let things get out of control now do ya?" or "yes Ike, you are the lead singer of this band"...little does he know "Proud Mary keeps on burnin..

and we're rollin' rollin' rollin down the river.....

Then instantly the lights go dim, and I re-appear in a blue sequence "flapper-style" dress with killer legs and electric hair. The lights blast on to reveal the stage and my back up dancers and I do the dance......just.....like...Tina

Sadly, this isn't the first Ike accident...I have to tell you that Dan and I have been together for a LONG time! When we had just been dating for around a year or just under....the one day we were getting ready for work in the morning (he would stay over at my moms house with me...)and so we were getting ready and he was turned facing the window (back to me) and I walked into my room just as he was bustin his arm through one of the sleeves and again "BAM" knocked right the fuck in my nose!!! I have the worst luck ever and this really tops that cake! TOTAL TMI story right???!!! I hope you all are great, and I just wanted to tell you all a couple things... 1. Yes and Yes has this wonderful new idea that she is sharing with everyone "Moments of Win"...please check out her most recent post and get in on the fun...it's a great idea and really sends a message of empowerment 2. Did I just Eat that out Loud is adorable and wonderful, and I think that everyone should tell her so...I know that we tend to always know just how wonderful people are; however between her and Ex Hotgirl I have to keep both shout outs as number 2 because both are equally as important....Jen (EHG) recently has lost a shit ton of weight and got a sassy new Red Jacket with the coolest collar...please go visit them if you haven't already!!! xoxoxo my friends, it's bed time for this momma!


Anonymous said...

I love that you call your hub IKE. (disclaimer - I do not think domestic abuse is funny either) But I just might have to steal that.

I like to call him Teddy Pendergrass because he likes to sing me f*cking music. But now Teddy, RIP.

I'm off to think of a new nickname for Trophy Husband. Heart you!

Julie, The Wife said...

Love The Ike. CH and I are always "wrestling", which starts fun and then gets a little competitive, until he is holding me down tickling me and I am trying as hard as I can to knee him or head butt him or drag my nails across something, because I Really. Hate. Tickling. Hmmm. You keep on rollin', baby.

Love Jen's new red coat too!! I want one!

Anonymous said...

Still sounds like code for nookie to me. ;)

Seriously, I am glad that you weren't inadvertently hurt. And that "Ike" now realizes, like everyone's favorite cartoon character Bam Bam, that he does not know his own strength.

Jennifer Brindley said...

Love your face. And your panties. (PS, can't wait to get home so I can open my freakin' mail!)