Of all the random...posts that I could have follow up WTF Wednesdays...I tell ya it's gonna be a doosy! I am so sorry that I haven't prepared a whole lotta class and sass for you but I have had a gash of a day! The dood stayed home today with me, because he smells great, cuddles and snuggles with mommy...well...apparently not on fucking Thursdays!

no!

Thursdays are the day that he likes to take his diaper off and smear it over the toilet seat. They are the days that he likes to water the plants with milk and also not take a nap! It was like, TOTALLY, awesome! (said in my worst sarcastic valley girl voice).

I also had a day where I had many looming thoughs in my head..thoughts of worry, sorrow and just a little blah! No, my bitch ain`t comin and I am past post and pre m.s...but I think that being home for these few days has really done it on me...I had my notepad open all day and aside from finding some great blogs to share with you all on Monday, I also had some deep thoughts...


I realized that in this junction of in time my life is extreemly reality based. there is no try, there is only do and do not....where do we find the exception?


when does my time begin so I can Shine?

I thought that turning 30 was going to be that time...you know, when you are at the theatre and the lights are dim and the show is going to start...that silence before the majestic? i wanted to have a moment similar to when Chicago starts...a black stage, then the spotlight on that silohuette...sexy, staturesque, poised, elegant...yet...real. I want the spotlight to slowly turn into a bright fade of great music, elements, textures of colour...like a dawning of a new Diva! (yes, i may have my jazz hands out right now..but it's only for the dramatic effect)


wow wouldn't that have been great?


truth be told there is rarely glamour in my life...rarely the moments of uber sexy-ness and glam; however, there should be! I am not asking to be dripping in diamonds and fur (cuz I would rather be more Marylin than Jackie but, it would be great to dress well daily. To feel that amazing sensation when I look smokin hot...now..McHubby, he tells me...oh boy does he tell me. you see, the hubs is a very sexual being (honey, i hope you are okay with me exposing this becuase i have not asked you..but you are...and well..i'm not ashamed of that...) anyhow, he is. He is a boob man, an ass man (he should be because I have some ba-dunk-a-dunk-in-ma'-trunk) and if he feels it, he will walk by and smak my bootie or give me a glance with his amazing eyes and lick his lips..ok, so it's not meant to turn you all on, but really...he's just like that and I am soo lucky. he loves me and my curves' curves and tells me.

anyhow...so he tells me these things, and yet..I feel like I am this woman in jogging pants, t-shirts with frazzled hair, no makeup who may or may not have caked on dried cookie on my pants, likely has a hand print on her ass from cleaning up something/one OR her son had just hugged her with hands full of chocolate pudding. I feel like the days when i am at home and make it into a bra are days that i should buy a lotto ticket because next to the 2nd coming of christ, its a rare occasion...(now, this is a side note to bras, I love them, but have not the want to put one on at 5 am when the kids get me up or at 11 am when I want to have a nap..) i mean, i know it seems like this cindarella has her glass slippers, ball gown and pumpkin; however, this is not so all the time. My days consist of looking and feeling like a disshevvled school marm, deffinately lacking in the crackin' if ya know what I mean. I literally have to psych myself up to get all gussied up with makeup and a freshly coiffed coif.

well..regardless, I want to enjoy my life so different from these feelings. I am madly in love with my husband. I absolutely adore my children and we are making it! We do fun things, talk a lot, spend time together and really...what am I missing? Sadly, I am missing me.

a day in the life of the wife, mother, friend, lover.....fuck it..

my day consists of actions...many many actions that are inconsequential. actions that get trivial pieces of the puzzle put together. actions that keep me continually exhausted, hopped up on caffein and adrenalyn. the endless days and nights that lead into days. There are many actions that mold my children's lives, moments that hold on to my dreams and let my thoughts get carried away. My actions feel as if they are so important though. I have seen for myself what happens when all of my actions are removed from a day and hunny that shit is apparent! my actions do matter; however, these are actions that wear away at my passion.  It dimishes my ability to focus on my marriage, my husband, ideas of love, lust and dreams....


i need to have a passion for myself.


does that shit even sound normal? where are these thoughts coming from today? anyhow..so i am going to try to lust myself...in a non dirty way! I know that it's in me. i've seeen it, felt it and enjoyed it all before...so maybe it's just the dull months, maybe it's just the days where i feel low..who knows


all i know is that this Bitch is gonna tear it up and douse these blahs with some.........


Fuck, I still can't drink alcohol...


what the hell am i going to douse with???

hmm.....


water? no...too boring


tea? no...i'm not English


I got it..I have some Fruitopia - Passion Fruit Awareness...Fuckin' right doggy...that's what'll be! Que sira sira right?!


Heres to it...lusting myself!!! Go on...cheers me!!!


have a great night frackers!!! thanks for listening!

OOOH!!!!

And for all y'all who liked WTF Wednesdays...here it is...my meme tag for it, if you like the idea, then deffinately grab the tag and place it on your blog...let me know you are taking it, so if I don't follow you, i can and watch and see WTF is up with you're Wednesdays!!!



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 I know its an organized week for our little love fest here bloggie world; however, it really has inspired me to write a lot more and be consistant...rather than having 30 little notes here and there trying to piece them all together....


anyhooooozle


have a great Friday and I'll talk with ya soon!!!!

Holy Feck!

ok so today I have decided to make each day mean something here at InsatiableHost...so Monday's Im gonna Make Out with Blogs everywhere...it's really raunchy how much of a blog whore I could be; however, there are SOOOO many great blogs and it's now a fixation.  Tuesdays are Gratitude with Attitude because why the fuck not? and Wednesdays are Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Wednesdays....why you ask???

why is she compelled to eat Meatloaf every Thursday and Drink Red Wine on Fridays? Because I can...that's why!

anyhow, so for the first edition of What the Fuck I have to tell you about this true story...

I recently had surgery (tonsilectomy = no more lady balls), I now have no voice (well it's there but really it's friggen brutal and I do sound different - did you catch my vlog yesterday???)  anyhow, so with this limited voice I can't really talk loud or very clear. Today, I go to get a tea and a bagel because I have to eat something or my husband will wake up without a limb...so i go to my local salvation (Tim Hortons) drive through and get to the microphone thing. 

Them: May I help you
Me (while sounding like I am under water): May I please have an extra large tea, bag in double double with milk?
Them: what?
Me: could I just order up at the window?
Them: No. what do you want?
Me: I'll tell you what I want you fucking douche canoe, I want a fucking tea and a bagel but I can't talk because my lady balls were ripped out of my throat days ago and I am in mourning. May I get a large tea, 2 milk 2 sugar?
Them: ya, anything else?
Me: a plain bagel, toasted with butter please.
Them: Sure
Me: thank you...

end of the encounter?  no!  dare I tell you what was next? yes!

i get to the window and the douche captain says, that will be $3.05 please...I hand him $4.05 in change and he hands me a penny.

WTF??
ya, so I look at him and said "oh, there was a tip in quarters for you, as a tip..you should have looked at it first"
Douche Captain: "oh you're a deaf person....sorry. (then laughs) oh shit, you can't even hear me!"

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! 

what the funk was that shiz?  I mean really, we just interacted, i talked to you, i repeated what you wanted me to when I ordered...ya, I'm a deaf person, and guess what fucker, you are getting fired!  I was sooo pissed off, that I parked my car, went into the store and talked to the manager.  I really was offended for all sorts of reasons.

1. this fucker thinks that he can just talk like that to people?
2. would it have been funny if I were deaf?
3. what if I were deaf? What were you going to do about it?

all I can say is this:

anyhow in all things positive, i think he got the fucking clue when his boss came over and i was to get an apology...ya, he did and did I take it like an adult and accept it?
you be your asses I didn't...

this is what he got

So I read this quote and think...you know...its sooo true!

We as writers, bloggers, humans we all over analyse ourselves. We all have those days, moments, posts where we are like...Hello...am I worth it?  Am I really someone that should be writing? I know continually I am faced with that plaguing feeling of failure. I also know that throughout my life, there have been many upsets and let-downs (and I’m not just talking about breast milk). I have endured enough sacrifice, pain and embarrassment to ensure that my children shouldn't have to.  It is these experiences, that have shaped me for who and I am today.  After all of this though, I have yet to really know myself ...and, well...that's just what this journey of blogging is all about. 

I really wanted to share this piece with you all because I have been reading so many of your posts that are asking these same questions...am I good enough? Am I strong enough? Is anyone reading my blog? Am I funny enough? Before I hit Publish Post, I always have that fear in my tummy. The same fear that I had handing out invites to a party, or asking someone out...and you know what? I really need to wrap my head around this thing.


As a writer, we are only as good as our last post. Someone told me that, and I was like, really?? Well I only got 3 comments and one was from my mom...what does that make me? I then started to analyse this more and have come to terms with it. We are only as good as our last post - BECAUSE WITH EVERY NEW ONE WE GET A CHANCE TO REINVENT OURSELVES! Fuck ya!! How cool is it that no matter what, we can always reinvent ourselves. It’s like having a facelift, without the surgery. Like Botox without the awkward stage...and what's even better is that you can smile and everyone knows you are smiling!


I think that going out with a she-bang each post is something to really try to do. If we let it all hang out, then we are keeping to our true form. If we offer a real experience, and add our own personal seasoning of sarcasm and wit, then that is a true life experience. There are many reasons why I read the blogs I do as religiously as I do, and it's because of these things. Each one of these writers has really such a great way of expression. They have their voice. What they also do is stay true to their passions, be it weight loss, eating right, working-out, being sarcastic, making people laugh or riding their bicycle. No matter the content, it's always true.

I know it's not easy finding our voice, I too am still searching, modifying and refining; however, I do know that the one thing that will always make your voice "your own" is by staying true to yourself. I am always looking at ways to improve my writing skills, my readership, my audience and more but I do know that if I stick with it, and keep having such wonderful friends here as I have met on this crazy adventure, I'll be just as good as Ann Landers' Dog if not better!
Have a great Sunday Friends!!

Good morning everyone, I hope you all have had your caffeine fix already; however, if you are just settling into your first pot, then I hope you enjoy it!!

Sunday does happen to be one of my favorite days of the week...as if you have been reading I have discussed..I love it because it's a family day through and through.  We all wake up, usually in my double bed (3 kids, the cat and McHubby and I) and will start our day with the daily caffein injection and a movie!  Today's movie was ET...now, I love this movie and haven't seen it for over 20 years and McHubby hasn't seen it ever (so he claims) anyhow, we enjoyed our movie date with the kids are are about to settle into the remainder of the day! 

I think we will be taking the kids outside to run off  the energy from the past week.  I had tried to install hampster wheels in their rooms but someone over at the CCS said it was frowned upon (again the government trying to control all things parental).  Last year I had applied to have a rubber room but then was shot down because I was told that mommy and daddy couldn't lock ourselves in there when we wanted to be away..and that this was something that was negative as it was just avoiding the problem children rather than facing the issues at hand...again, I scoffed!  They just wanted to ruin all my fun!

I have also tried to humanize myself today.  I woke up, showered, brushed the teeth and went to the store.  I happened across several specimins of Saturday night was sooo fun but who the hell is this guy/gal beside me!  I really love seeing this in action..when you are married a lot of things become clear to you. 

1. when you see a couple who is just together for the booty smack down...ya, you know those couples...she is on her cell phone texting her next romp while he is trying to put two words together because he was SOOO WASTED DUDE!  my thought is, why even bother..if it is a bootie call, then isn`t it just that!!  When did breakfast get put into the deal...hmmmm...maybe this is why i was never one for the bootie call.

2. the couples who hook up the night before, and dont know who this stranger is...I love this one because I almost want to go over  in introduce myself as the poor bastards girlfriend or something..I mean not to cause damage but poking fun is great!!  I love seeing these couples eating their bagels and downing coffee while looking at everything on the walls and in their sight of vision because they have nothing to say...and then when they have spent 20 minutes (to fill the `was i polite enough`time) they leave with an awkward handshake, kiss on the cheek or a weird bump of a hug..I literally witnessed this twice today!!! 

3.  The genuine couples who always get smashed on Saturdays are great to see also...there is a group of 20somthings who must get loaded every Saturday, becuase on Sunday morning I always see them together at the local bagel bakery.  They all have their gap scarves, hats and iphones in tote along with the ladies having their coach clutches (this is not to diss coach, as i too have a clutch, but I dont have one in every colour to match my other accessories and I did not buy my own...my amazing mother-in-law did for me!! Yes, she has exquisite taste)  anyhow, so the 4-some of 20somethings had their hats and scarfs on, guys dressed like the modern metrosexual and all of them looking like the 3 bottles of wine and the case of beer was a milestone in their lives...they are the most natural looking of the sights i saw today...they all had conversation, laughed out loud and giggled and snorted their nosh and really did look like they were having a great time! 

I have to wonder though, is this what friendship is now a days  is this what it has become...lets get smashed and go out for breaky in the am!!  Hm....maybe i need new friends, or maybe just a good night of drinking...i dont think i could do this  though.  I think that i am all about the low key, casual nights with our friends where all we do is laugh our asses off....no pretenses no judgement...just fun....(sigh) those where the days!!!

anyhow, the dood has just passed out on me and I think I am going to try to eat something more than a popcicle...have a great sunday and if you are stopping in from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party, have a seat, enjoy your tea but leave me your thoughts and let me know a little about yourself!!

So it's just the 3rd day since my lady balls have been ripped out of my throat and I thought I was feeling good...until today!  I woke up and was in tears with this unbearable ache in my throat.  I know that this is going to be painful, but really, this bad?   I am not a suck (well, too much of one) but I haven't felt like this in sooo long.  I mean, child birth wasn't like this type of pain....it wasn't fun either; but it's my throat..no talking, swallowing, chewing food, anything..laughing, talking, caughing....it all blows! Thank god for the perks the doctor prescribed! 

3 days without really being coherrant, or without the use of my voice has taken it's toll on me.  I may have made up an imaginary friend Gretta.  Gretta is who I found myself talking to when I came to after the anesthetic on Wednesday, and apparently we were chatting for a good hour.  (This is also when the nurses were pumping me full of morphine).  In any event, I don't have that many friends, so how could I turn Gretta the Morphine addict away?  I mean, it's just not right to do that...Anyow, so Gretta and I have been talking for a few days now, and she really seems to be a nice gal.  She does have her issues...for sure, like, she always wants to sleep and doesn't want to be near anyone; however, she is coming around.  I also asked her about being a workout buddy; however, her answer was...we're too sick.  We can't do that now!  I think that Gretta needs a Chick Norris Bitch Slap!

I hope to be able to tackle the next day and a half as I am going to be home with the kids by myself.  I know that they are all really trying to behave and not make me talk or raise my voice...but I gotta tell ya, not even bribing them with McDonalds tonight could help!  Where is my WIFE when I need her....These kids are completely hyper and have too much energy!  Damn kids...lol  I feel really bad though..I mean, how am I to hope that my kids will understand that mommy just can't talk...mommy can't raise her voice... They all understand that mommy is sick and her throat is sore, but then Bella asks me the same question about armpits 50 times in a row, and gets mad at me because I dont' answer her....Im sure it'll pass soon enough...it has to right?  All I know is that when I feel better, I have to make it up to the 3 amigos because they really have tried to make me giggle, given me hugs and snuggels when I have asked for them (and trust me, when I am under the weather, i ask for them a lot) and they have tried to all take care of me.

I have also been catchin up on some posts that I hadn't read in a while, and found myself creeping on all the blogs listed in the Lady Bloggers Roll and on SITS...again, if you haven't checked either of these sites out yet, you totally should.  I have found a whole whack load of great blogs to add to the collection!  I have also  had more visits on my blog and these people who visit, are SOOOOSUPERFRIGGEN NICE!!!  So thank you all you new readers, friends from SITS and LB's ...please continue to read and I hope you all have a great Saturday!!

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!!  Drop me a line and tell me what you are doing; drop me a joke, or give me something to rant about!!! What is chappin your behinds lately?  These are things that I would like to know!!!

xox

and on the last day they ate...



For tonight Hey-Zeus and her family sat down to enjoy the Canadian Men's Olympic Hockey Game all together and happy. It was really a lovely site to see and as it does not occur occasionally, I have to admit I closed my eyes, lay my head back and just enjoyed.



I am however having some serious issues today folks. Now, I have mentioned it before; however, I am having my tonsils taken out tomorrow. I am 30 years old and will be sitting in a recovery room with 5 year olds enjoying popsicles and pain killers. Now, I have had surgery before (the baby factory hath been closed down and I had to have another medical procedure on the internal girlie bits last year) but I haven't had something like this before. I dont know what's tripping me up...is it the fact that they have to knock me out and pry my mouth open? Is it because I really don't want to wake up and feel my throat on fire? Perhaps...however, I was thinking in my Twilight Day Dream of the day that perhaps getting my tonsils out will feel like just being transformed into a vampire....do you remember in the book where Edward explains it more like a burning sensation???? Well someone today told me that after you get your tonsils out your throat burns...



hmmmm....Julie (DITW), Marilee (HicksMix) what do you twi-hards think??? Could we re-write the passage? lol



Anyhow...so there are some of the reasons - but I think them to be the obvious ones. I am also a little freaked out that I am going to be in a room full of strangers knocked out and I will not remember/know anything...really folks what goes on in these huge steel rooms with more toys than in Elvira's closet?



I have to admit that I am a little psyched for the liquid diet; I know this will force me to consume my weight in water daily and enjoy nothing but the rewards of not eating the bad stuff. I know that it's not something that I should bank on, or even be excited for, but I am an optimist and this is the silver lining!



I would also like to share with you all a little poem that was written for me by my friend Diver. The background to this poem is that my co-workers said that me getting my tonsils out is my "neutering" and that my "lady balls" are going...ok, so totally funny right??? Anyhow, so this is the poem that Diver has written. (Oh, and FYI she is new to blogging and has started 2 of her own recently. The first is Douche Cartel - an unveiling of all the real ass clams that live in this world that we encounter and the second is Fucktardation for the Nation - an in-depth discovery of all those people out there that make you scream Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!!! Please go read her sarcastic and often witty posts (and please don't take offence because I know you all have thought these things before; however, if you or someone you know appears in some of the images, then I may have to question our friendship) JK.. oh ya..the poem...



Dearest Danon the day has come it's almost near

to say goodbye to your mouth balls my dear

Gobby pussy balls that hang near the throat

kind of like testicles it's important to note

say goodbye and so long to your sexy rasping tone

and remember your gag reflex works when hubby tosses you a bone(r)

Oh Danon your neck balls will... be swimming in a bowl

I hope your recovery is swift, don't worry there's a poll

Vodka freezies, margaritas daiquiris and more

for we know this is the medicine you'll choose to ease the sore

3 weeks you'll be in a drunken stupor no pain

Try not to come back with a broken leg and a cane

Enjoy one more night with your mouth balls in tact

They will be long gone tomorrow and that is a fact

Good luck dear Danon, and goodbye to your balls

In 3 weeks time you'll be ready for calls! YOUNG LADY!



So the funny thing about this is that the young lady will be explained in my Gratitude with Attitude part 2 (a second post for you all tonight!!!)



Also, I am sorry but I didn't post yesterday's weigh in..So I have actually made progress... I started the 2nd mission at 183 lbs and after weighing myself at my mother's last night on her super high tech scale I was elated that I was sitting at 176 lbs. I know the PRE.M.S had something to do with at least 2-3 lbs so that is gone, and I know that eating right is the way to win 2/3 of this battle. Anyhow, super excited again and thank you all so much...



welcome welcome welcome new FOLLOWERS, it's a pleasure to meet you all! Please leave me a comment and tell me a bit about yourself.



xoxo



Danon