Throat Balls WTF!!??

and on the last day they ate...

For tonight Hey-Zeus and her family sat down to enjoy the Canadian Men's Olympic Hockey Game all together and happy. It was really a lovely site to see and as it does not occur occasionally, I have to admit I closed my eyes, lay my head back and just enjoyed.

I am however having some serious issues today folks. Now, I have mentioned it before; however, I am having my tonsils taken out tomorrow. I am 30 years old and will be sitting in a recovery room with 5 year olds enjoying popsicles and pain killers. Now, I have had surgery before (the baby factory hath been closed down and I had to have another medical procedure on the internal girlie bits last year) but I haven't had something like this before. I dont know what's tripping me it the fact that they have to knock me out and pry my mouth open? Is it because I really don't want to wake up and feel my throat on fire? Perhaps...however, I was thinking in my Twilight Day Dream of the day that perhaps getting my tonsils out will feel like just being transformed into a you remember in the book where Edward explains it more like a burning sensation???? Well someone today told me that after you get your tonsils out your throat burns...

hmmmm....Julie (DITW), Marilee (HicksMix) what do you twi-hards think??? Could we re-write the passage? lol there are some of the reasons - but I think them to be the obvious ones. I am also a little freaked out that I am going to be in a room full of strangers knocked out and I will not remember/know anything...really folks what goes on in these huge steel rooms with more toys than in Elvira's closet?

I have to admit that I am a little psyched for the liquid diet; I know this will force me to consume my weight in water daily and enjoy nothing but the rewards of not eating the bad stuff. I know that it's not something that I should bank on, or even be excited for, but I am an optimist and this is the silver lining!

I would also like to share with you all a little poem that was written for me by my friend Diver. The background to this poem is that my co-workers said that me getting my tonsils out is my "neutering" and that my "lady balls" are going...ok, so totally funny right??? Anyhow, so this is the poem that Diver has written. (Oh, and FYI she is new to blogging and has started 2 of her own recently. The first is Douche Cartel - an unveiling of all the real ass clams that live in this world that we encounter and the second is Fucktardation for the Nation - an in-depth discovery of all those people out there that make you scream Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!!! Please go read her sarcastic and often witty posts (and please don't take offence because I know you all have thought these things before; however, if you or someone you know appears in some of the images, then I may have to question our friendship) JK.. oh ya..the poem...

Dearest Danon the day has come it's almost near

to say goodbye to your mouth balls my dear

Gobby pussy balls that hang near the throat

kind of like testicles it's important to note

say goodbye and so long to your sexy rasping tone

and remember your gag reflex works when hubby tosses you a bone(r)

Oh Danon your neck balls will... be swimming in a bowl

I hope your recovery is swift, don't worry there's a poll

Vodka freezies, margaritas daiquiris and more

for we know this is the medicine you'll choose to ease the sore

3 weeks you'll be in a drunken stupor no pain

Try not to come back with a broken leg and a cane

Enjoy one more night with your mouth balls in tact

They will be long gone tomorrow and that is a fact

Good luck dear Danon, and goodbye to your balls

In 3 weeks time you'll be ready for calls! YOUNG LADY!

So the funny thing about this is that the young lady will be explained in my Gratitude with Attitude part 2 (a second post for you all tonight!!!)

Also, I am sorry but I didn't post yesterday's weigh in..So I have actually made progress... I started the 2nd mission at 183 lbs and after weighing myself at my mother's last night on her super high tech scale I was elated that I was sitting at 176 lbs. I know the PRE.M.S had something to do with at least 2-3 lbs so that is gone, and I know that eating right is the way to win 2/3 of this battle. Anyhow, super excited again and thank you all so much...

welcome welcome welcome new FOLLOWERS, it's a pleasure to meet you all! Please leave me a comment and tell me a bit about yourself.




Julie, The Wife said...

Holy Mother, those are some massive sacks in your throat! I think it will be much much easier than you fear.

I LOVE the poem. That is love.

Good luck, and remember that Chick Norris does not have tonsils removed...Chick Norris orders tonsils out of her mouth and they comply.

sAm said...

Good luck with your surgery and recovery! I'm a new follower - glad I found your blog!