Day 1 holy bu-ut! Ga ga What the Fu-uk!!!

Ladies and Gents, I Mdm Insatiable have accepted a challenge to shred my ass and other storage bits and have started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I think this is best titled Death to JM Luv IH!! So Ex Hot Girl our pal has started this I think 3 days ago....ish and I really hadn't heard much about this kind of torture before. This isn't anything SMBDish or anything but maybe lingers around cruel and unusual punishment. That being said, I did it. I DL the video for session 1 or level 1 or in my case level 0 and wanted to see what it was like. Me and the kids gathered around the laptop and viewed this insanity...Sophia says Jillian isn't super hot but has a great figure; Bella says mommy, your butt is sooo much bigger and the dood said "boobies". (no jokes) anyhow, so after watching this 20 minute Fight Club, I said to myself, "self" "yes self" "self, are you happy? are you feeling listless" and myself responded in Lucile fashion "are you un-poopular? do you poop-out at parties" we then shared a bottle of Vit-a-met-a-vegi-man and continued the procrastination. This inner debate lasted for merely 3 minutes, but did feel as if it were an hour...when all of a sudden, Sophia says to me, "momma, why are we watching it? let's do it!" she sprung off of the couch to see what was the matter; like a ferocious little tyrant called the mad hatter! She litter ally raced upstairs and changed into her yoga attire (5 yrs old and yoga attire- but we all know it's not LuLu effin Lemon) and tells me to get my stuff. How could I argue with that??? This is how day 1 plays out...I have the video streaming on the lap top and I move the coffee table out of the way. I get a bottle of water (not realizing that I can't stop during this pummeling to drink - YOU MUST NOT STOP!!!) So we start with BIG circle swoopy things...opening up our chests...Sophia giggles as she lets out a huge fart! ok, getting warmed up, and i am actually smiling...I really felt as if I were in the Fight Club scene where Tyler Derden and Hottie Mc Hotterson Ed Norton fight for the 2nd time...I was doing this thing people call working out and liking it!! (ok, so it was what 3 minutes in..but Ya gotta start somewhere right???) I then see the devil herself talking about core strength and how to hold our shit in tight...well my external shit ain't tight...I am a woman, who's got a 3-kid mommy tummy and a chest that measures 38 DD...they don't tend to stay in one spot for long especially when jumping jacks are involved...I didn't let my sarcastic nature bring me down though...no sir reee Bob...I kept going and was proud that I didn't give myself a black eye or bust my glasses while doing them. (Yay me) Obvi next move is pushups! Again, roll the eyes, as I don't like to get on my knees that often. I did it....I did each set of kiss the grounds and think that my tig ole bitties are going to burn tomorrow. After the cardio shit kicking that I took it was wind down time...20 mins and I was done. The funny thing was that I tried to carry Smelly upstairs and my ass/legs felt so weak from having the oxygen sucked out of them. I managed to get her up there and went to my FB. EHG Jen msgd me after perhaps reading my status (same as today's title) and asked if I was on board!!! I also informed her that as we were msging, my ass cheeks were quivering and I needed to put two tall boys against them to help with the "burn". Jen, thanks to your video and the encouragement from my kids...and the inferno within I am now going to attack day 2 tomorrow!!! so good!!! In other news, a sad state of affairs has occur ed that I have to share.... The Panty Pyramid has run into somewhat of an odd place. I have purchased 40 pairs of undaroos so far (based on the avg of sizes that I had seen in the responses from y'all that are interested) and have been preparing to ship out on Friday or Saturday(depending on when I have time to do this). In my prep, I have the manila envelopes and lists ready to ship, so I wanted to double check the postage/shipping fees that would be associated. So I go to the post office and between myself, "Dawn" the postal clerk, the UPS Canada and US we discovered that out of the 60 addresses that I took to her, only 20 are actually good. There were fake streets, fake cities/zips etc...it really made me question why I want to do this.. 10 of these 60 were businesses but I have to wait until tomorrow to check em out..so that is a max of 30. Now of the addresses that are businesses, I found that one was a closed down doughnut shop in Iowa (thanks...that is just odd) and another was a police department...and sorry y'all I am not sending panties to a cop shop!! So....in light of these occurrences, I am asking only serious contenders to please comment with your actual address. If this is a work address because you are doing this on behalf of someone, please put the title of the company and the entire address. I am also in need of your email addresses (because many of you aren't listed on blogger to actually get that info.) I will be emailing y'all to verify that A) you are a real person who is in this for fun B) that you actually agree to have this sent to you and C) that there is correct info... I am not going to lie...I kinda felt like a bit of a failure! I really did/do sort of...I just have such a high hope for this that I want everyone to participate...you dont have to recruit anyone (unless they are willing - then the more the merrier) and it's really not a lot of a $$ commitment...I would love to have 100 people (fo shizzle people) by January 1 2010!!! Please help me build Mt. Thong!! I have some beautiful panties to send out so guess what guys n gals....message me!!!! My back is starting to have muscle spasms and I think that the sweat is making my hubby a little turned on...I'm gonna go and see what that's all about!! But before I do here are my true measurements... Height: 5"5' Weight: 174 lbs Leg: 31 Waist: 33 Bust: 38 Hips: 37 Goal: 5"10 (lol) 135 34 (lol) 27 34 32/33 Let's see what tomorrow brings!!

2 comments:



Jennifer Brindley said...

I am a real person and my info is straight up right.

And I'm so glad you're doing shred with the rest of us nut-bags. I loved reading this entry. YAY! <3

~Jenn (Ex Hot Girl)

Anonymous said...

Danon
I just read your blog post from yesterday and I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my head into my ears (I'm laying down still in bed--I'm laying down al lot actually!).
That post is so hillarious. I'm sending it to my sister.
Yesterday I went to the gap and bought bigger jeans and ordered biggest loser DVDs on netflix.
Great post and so glad you found me.
Bindu