Holy Fuckballs, there is a God!

ok, so officially I am dying right now! I had posted on FB but I don't have a lot of you...ok wait. I have 3 of you on my FB so you didn't know..and on my personal site I posted it, but my "real" peeps don't know that I write...

Im like the chick in Pump Up the Volume...the Eat Me
Beat Me Lady...lol...ya, Eat ME!

Anyhow, so I told you earlier yesterday that I was going to die if THE BLOGESS came to my site.

Consider this my final words (ok, no...it's not...I promise) oh and (Dear Mother, Husband and anyone who knows me...this is just me ranting I swears I love my life and I would never do anything stupid..ok, wait. I know I got knocked up 3 times in a row while on birth control...yes, mother, I remember when I got sooo drunk I puked all night and went to work...yes....that WAS stupid).

Okay I do stupid shit...but eff this..this is REALLY BIG LIKE GINORMOUSLY HUMUNGOIDOUS!!!

The BLOGESS CAME TO MY site. She commented and left her presence here...I am now a healer or something a lot cooler than I was before...

NOW.

I know you are saying that I dont need anyone else to make me feel better or whatever; however, I am telling you, she is supa-friggen-cool and I know that I had given her an award but whateves...she still came here...or maybe it was her assistant. I wonder if she has an assistant? I don't care, because that would mean that her assistant was here.

Anyhow, I just wanted to share this with you my interweb friends who are too cool to have me as a friend on my official and nonofficial facebook page.
Dear Blogess,

If you come back again, please know that this isn't a shrine or anything creepy like it appears.
I have been reading your posts and "ask the blogess" for a while now, and really think that making fun of people is fun too.  I also think that Victor seems to have some resemblence (well at least in my head) as Mr. Big; however, I have re-named him Mr. Blog. 
I have also tried to ask questions that matter too; however, I have too many questions and perhaps you may ask me to pay you because you would feel like I may have mistaken you for a) someone who cares or b) a shrink...to which you may be both or neither...I am just not asking to avoid awkwardness.
I think that if you ever came to Canada, and had more than $20 bucks and wanted real Canadian bacon or at least to see that banks actually take this currency without making people do simple math, then you should come.  Perhaps you should also have a blog forum or something that would be amazing to actually see you in person and hear your advice about writing "professionally".

Blogess you have given hope to millions and made millions laugh.  You have enriched my vocabulary with words like Douche Canoe and Ass Clam.
You have made me better for reading your posts
You have made my blog better for being here...(as I think if I can sell the comment you left on ebay)and I thank you and promise I wont die.

Insatiablehost

11 comments:



Brenda said...

She did?!?!? Gawd, you are blessed!!!

Alex said...

Who the fuck is The Blogess?!!!!!!

Glad she made ya happy in your girly parts too (don't die!)

Small Burst said...

Congrats! I've never heard of the Blogess before so I'm gonna go google her.

Smart Ass Sara said...

OMG---wait...who's the blogess? And why haven't has she spanked me yet?!

Scraps said...

See, ask and ye shall receive. Or something like that.

Glad your day got made :)

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Oh my god, she is awesome. I freakin' pee'd myself reading her blog.

She rocks. She dropped her presence on my blog too and I died. Serious.

sarah @ i run with scissors said...

Love it girl... Maybe one day, the rest of us will reach your level of success. I'd like to put the first bid in on ebay for the comment.

Amanda said...

OMG -- that's amazing! Lucky you!! Congrats :) It's like winning the lottery.

Natacha said...

I absolutely love the Bloggess and have been reading her posts for a while now... you are blessed... I hope you realize how much? Actually now that I think of it, I think you do?

Julie, The Wife said...

I love her in a way that is creepy and wrong. She makes me want to be gay, but in a written correspondence type of relationship.

You are the luckiest fucking duck, but you deserve it, because guess what? You're the shizzle too! Someday I will be able to say, "Oh yeah, well if I wasn't Danon's first follower I was one of the first five, bitches!"

Suzanne Westover said...

I love The Blogess with similar ardour, so I understand your excitement! Now I am within one degree of "knowing" her! So thanks for making me one step cooler too!