What the shiz folks?


So, while I am sitting here with a loaf of wonder bread in the easy bake oven from all the friggen prescriptions and the 1-ply TP that was in the hospital I start to wonder...


****insert disclaimer here so, for all of those persons who work and love the adult entertainment industry; please do not take offense to my post but please educate me. I am not wanting to offend anyone with my post, and I fully support a healthy sexual curiosity I just personally can’t handle the “in your face” or well..your face of it all... ****

I mean, I am not a huge or even a small porn person...like I have never watched an entire whole film...maybe sad but it’s not something that floats my boat....trust...there are far better ways to excite this gal (thank you Mr. Insatiable). Anyhow, enough about that stuff..., so I am sitting here and hating being a woman for yet another reason and have the show Californication on...you know with David (recovering sex addict) Duchovney...ya that hot ass (MRS FATASS...I had to borrow it..) I think I am actually starting to have a celebrity crush on Hank...I mean really...who wouldn’t? He’s mildly sexy, a writer, free-spirit that has that something...


It got me thinking... they have a bagillion things shoved, rammed, inserted and thrust into all their lady places and yet, they always look so pink, fresh and beautiful. But, do you ever sit there and watch the deleted scenes or bloopers of the films where Luscious Tina’s twat is burning like a ring of fire? Maybe you will see a blooper of Man Whore “Lex” being muffled (sorry, I couldn’t pass that up) while singing that amazing Johnny Cash tune...”and it burns burns burns...”lol. NO! You don’t though!..um dumb question time “Do porno’s have blooper reels and deleted scenes like real featured films?” see..I don’t know this stuff..I am slowly starting to feel pathetic now, but again, it’s not something that my boat floats for.

I know that these films are fantasy and in fantasy land women don’t burp, shit, fart or have any bacterial cultures elsewhere than in their DANONE ( <---not me) pro-biotic. But women tend to need a dose of reality to relate...like human error. It’s our nature to find the flawed thread or to cling onto our insecurities and realize that we may not be perfect but love ourselves...do these women have these issues or are they blinded from the last shot in the eye? Is it the money?...well maybe that has a lot to do with it, but like I love my job a lot..and I hear and would hope that these performers love their jobs too! I just don’t know how they have the balls to do it!

Do these actresses feel the same woes as us normal women? Like really? Are you fucking human – because most of the evidence that is “on film” so kinda reality points to the fact that you all are a bunch of androids who can take it like Mr. Duggar gives it (...please read this to understand)!!

I am incredibly jealous of you android starlet’s for your curiosity and willingness to take one (or two) for the team! I applaud you all for your acting skills and making Candy walking into the Copy Store like a real life encounter...but again, are you human?

Do you ever have hairy legs that are to the point of a winter coat? Do you let your armpit hair reach a length that is disastrous and then put a T-shirt on and forget mid day that you happen to have 3 secret garden’s growing?? Have you ever felt like your vag wasn’t a weapon rather than an abyss and something that is nothing close to attractive, hot or powerful?

While I have watched only 1 film – and again I swear this is true... my husband has seen more. He does own some too – no shame there again hunny is healthy, happy and aware (and satisfies his woman right) but I see that in each of the covers of his Highlight Reel that there are some amazingly manicured muffs out there!! I want to know, is it kept and treated like a thouroughbread is spray painted for a show? Do you have airbrush tech’s that keep your pinks pink and red’s red? How is it always sooo pretty? Maybe it’s all the lube....

Again, after all that junk goes in, out, up, down do you not chaff? Do you ever have those days where you ask yourself “If I ever have another DP it won’t be too soon!” or “I wish I didn’t have to suck another baseball bat sized hammer again...really...I’m better than that!”

These are things that I don’t think occur. I mean, call me naive, call me a prude – but...are porn stars real?

Sorry friends...i know that i am usually not on the risqué side of topics, nor do I share my bodily functions with you so matter-of-factly but Questions Need Answers friends and I’m lookin to you all to help me!