Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.

Things that make me go Hmmmmm bannana nana kaaa ka ka ka!! Old drivers who are TOO OLD TO DRIVE...honestly, I think Im just gonna start running you people over when I see you on the road...it'll make this world a way safer place...and I am starting with you AR84 2EU People who read the last page of books before they read the first...what is the fucking point of reading the book when you just ruined everything that just brought you there...did your parents spoil Santa too early? Did your siblings hate on you??? Whining!!! FUCK I hate wining!! I mean I love my kids dearly,and their voices are like cherubs singing.. Drunk girls who cry - I dont get it!! I want to punch them in the boob. "Ah my gaawd!! I love you....(wretch)...you're so pretty...why aren't I pretty....HAyyyy let's go get that guys number"(done in my best drunk valley girl voice) Cocky people - if you think you are better than anyone else...prove it! Bring your friggen A game homie...it's a throw down. Bike racks....3 o'clock Farts that dont have homes....if you are gonna let one loose...own it!! Dont blame it on the dead dog over there. Dont tell me your seat is leather and it "rubbed" the wrong way..I know it's not the case! If you are that rotten inside, you are a dirty and sick fuck and next chance I get I am gonna throw you out of my car so you can be someone's speed bump. People who talk to you with out making eye contact. The window of your soul is your eyes! They can tell so much about people. If you are gonna talk to me, at least have the balls to do so. I took psych, I know that when you look up and to the left you are lying... Accusations without merrit - get yer facts straight first then bring it! Getting yelled at because the person yelling is mad at themselves....really. defence mechanisms that we use as humans are fascinating...but why do people get mad at anyone around them when they are just mad at themselves???? this more so happens with guys - but that could also just be part of the asshole gene...we are still researching. Hovering..If I wanted a helicopter simulated ride, I would take one...don't hover over me!! Cigarette butts...this is a weird one, but I hate them!! They get left everywhere....just get rid of them. Put them in a pop can, wet them and throw them out...but dont just leave them infront of me or around on the ground! skinny-bitches - go puke in your closet!! toe nail clippings being left where ever you clip them....get rid of that shit! weggies as if there isn't enough that goes on down there...now your undies want a behind the scense tour Stupid people...this is quite general but you know who you are!!! you are the people who ask the most rediculous questions when you know the answer, and then hang around trailing on for some hope that I have paid attention to your story about your new shawl..What the fuck does that have to do with scrambled eggs??? schedulal vs shhedule/ tomato vs to-maaa-to/ processes vs proces-eeez really...what is up with this...can't we all be on the same page? these are just a few things that get under my skin, urk me and generally make me want to drink! well ok, the last one was thrown in there to make me feel better about the drink in my hand; but it's true! As I have now ranted, I have more BLOG LOVE to give...Julie..A day in the Wife, THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH FOR THE BLOGESS!! I stayed up until 3 am yesterday reading her ask blogess and had to put on one of lucas diapers just to make sure that i was prepared! I couldn't stop though..and there was one comment about a guy being such a "douche canoe" and an "ass clam" and I couldn't stop...it was involuntary at that point and tears began to fall from my face...FRIGGEN HiLaRiOuS!!!

Dear Bloggess, A very close friend asked me to tell her honestly my opinion of men she dates. For the last couple of months she has been dating a guy and I finally got to meet him last weekend. What a douche canoe. He probably has his own advice column too, 'cause the dude knows EVERYTHING. How can I tell her what a complete assclam she is dating without making her hate me? Staje

You have to tell your friend that the guy is a douche canoe. Not only because she specifically asked you to be honest with her but also because“douche canoe” is probably the single greatest phrase in the history of ever and it must be shared with everyone. Douche canoe. Seriously, I can’t even stop saying it. Read more: http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/13150-the-front-page#ixzz0UGNHleOJ

If you haven't read this gal yet...I think you should...after you read me NATURALLY!! Actually, it's been pretty great, I am on the quest for the best written blogs because I want to laugh...I need to laugh and...seriously, how cool would it be to have a wicked tummy and when people say you look great, omg your stomache is wicked...my answer is "thanks, I laugh a lot!" SOOO Fricken COOL right???

Ok, bed time is fastly approaching...if anyone has anything the share...share - I encourage sharing!!! hope all is great in the land of the bloggies!!


Miss Marilee said...

Haha I'm totally the girl that reads the last few pages of the book first! I'm also the girl watching a movie that will Wikipedia the ending from my phone so I'm not in for a huge surprise if I think it's going to catch me off guard and make me bawl. =)

Phoo-D said...

Oh my gosh what a great phrase. I'm rolling with laughter here. =)